Facepaint
by sunandshadow
Summary: Seiryuu pulls Nakago's female reincarnation Mareu into _The Mysterious Play_, and turns her into a him. Will Mareu and Tomo find true love, or is Mareu just as much of a b_ as Nakago? Maybe Mareu the b_ and Tomo the b_ are just what each other need.
1. Prologue Nakago's Death

Fushigi Yuugi does not belong to me, but to Watase Yuu; I'm just borrowing it. Someday when I have an anime series of my own I'll return the favor and let other people borrow my toys. ^_^ Warnings: AU, OC, YAOI starring Tomo, MPREG (sort of, maybe, eventually), and there will be discussion of rape, but no one will be raped in the story. There will also be discussion of dominance, submission, collaring and other hentai topics. This story may be freely archived. ^_^ Beware of fragmentary chapters, gomen.

  
  


IMPORTANT: This is originally an NC-17 rated story. The lemon chapters have been removed from the fanfiction.net version. To read the full version (assuming you are 17) please see my author profile for instructions. The two versions of the story diverge in chapters 5, 8, etc.

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

  
  


Prologue – Nakago's Death

  
  


It's an awfully messy way to die, a fist through one's stomach; but then, my life has been messy from beginning to end, why should my death be any different. From the very moment of being conceived as a halfbreed I have been out of place, a flaw in the pattern; a daub of misplaced yellow, a rough spot that catches the carpenter's attention and is automatically ground down. I only wonder why it has taken the world so long to finally reject and erase my presence. No, I know why; because the world is a brute evil, and tear at me though it always did, it could not strike me down until I lowered my guard and granted it permission. That thought is almost satisfying – it's something like having power over your life, if your death is only happening by your own permission.

  
  


But what gave me that small immunity, to be always wounded but never killed? Certainly no virtue in me other than that I am a cold-hearted bastard. Quite literally a bastard, that always amused me. Adaptability seems to be the natural compensation men gain for giving up the more delicate parts of their sanity. I never needed their protection, though they tried so hard to give it to me... because they loved me. I never understood why; I could never give them anything they needed. But they loved me, and followed my orders to their deaths. And suddenly when they were gone and my dream was gone, I found that there was nothing left. Revenge? Only I am to blame for my failures, and it is difficult to exact any kind of satisfying revenge upon oneself. And I was never a masochist, only a sadist, and a poor one at that since others' pain brought me only a twisted satisfaction, no pleasure.

  
  


When you play chess and the inevitable loss becomes obvious, you concede – you lay the king down. So I lay myself down into death. Seiryuu would not have permitted me to kill myself, so I used Tamahome's obliging fist, but the result was the same. Darkness.

  
  


It would have been vain to hope for rest – I was one of the chosen ones, I would be reincarnated to fulfill my duty again, regardless of my preferences. But I would forget. Perhaps that would be enough to ease the pain of leaving my destiny unfinished. And they would be by my side again. Seiryuu told me once that he chose them for me, when he first chose his seishi eons ago. A matched set - like a pair of katana blades, right and left handed. He asked me why I didn't love them in this life, when I had before. I had nothing to say in reply – if Seiryuu didn't understand how my heart had been destroyed, sanded away to a smooth cold nothing, then no one could understand – I never had.

  
  


I could not love them, only wield them; they never sang in my grasp like a fine weapon can in the right hands. There was only the painful dissonance of almost-rightness. I would not wish that travesty on them again. I would free them if I could – but they were made for my hand, and would seek me as a compass was drawn off its true course to a lodestone. They could not, would not change their nature; the only way I could free them would be if I could change myself so much I was unrecognizable to them.

  
  


I don't know how long I lay in darkness contemplating regrets and impossibilities. But when Taiitsukun appeared before me to ask if I had any preferences for my next reincarnation, telling me that as a reward for our mikos – a reward for Suzaku no Miko, she meant – we were going to be incarnated in their world and time for one cycle, an idea suddenly coalesced in my mind. Maybe they could be free, for one lifetime at least. I would be unrecognizable indeed, at least to the way they were attuned. And maybe, maybe I could learn to love again – after all, the most loving people I had ever known had all been women, maybe they had a natural talent for it... So I made my request. And had the unique experience of seeing a deity surprised – Taiitsukun was unfazed, but Seiryuu was standing there and his jaw dropped, and Suzaku poked him in the side and made some comment about crossdressers and revenge. I ignored them, and concentrated on making my request with all the tired sincerity I possessed.

  
  


I asked to be reincarnated as a woman. And Taiitsukun granted my request.

***

  
  


Now, let us rewind several months, make a small change, and see if things work out a little better this time. In other words: "Once more, with feeling."


	2. Enter Mareu In A Burst Of Sapphire Light

Not mine, AU, yaoi, R, hentai, etc. See Prologue for full disclaimer and warnings.

  
  


Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

  
  


  
  


Chapter 1 – Enter Mareu in a Burst of Sapphire Light

Soi arrived outside the door of the briefing room and was miffed to see that Tomo had also been summoned. Tomo, of course, was likewise miffed. _Nakago's mine and you stay away from him!_ they both thought, directing evil glares at each other. Then, ritual territorial display done with, they calmly entered the briefing room and sat down across the table from Nakago.

Nakago leveled his icy blue gaze at them. "As you are aware, we have assembled 6 of the 7 Seiryuu seishi. The last one is the seishi of the constellation Miboshi. My intelligence network has located him… but I do not like the reports I've received. Miboshi's power is apparently some kind of thought manipulation, and he's used it to build his own power structure of brainwashed minions. He is very powerful, powerful enough to be dangerous to any of us despite our seishi powers. I myself cannot leave the capital for as long as it would take to reach his demesne, so I'm sending the two of you. Stay alive. If one of you comes back without the other I'm executing the survivor, so cooperate, got it?"

Soi and Tomo blanched and looked at each other. Then they looked back to Nakago and nodded resolutely.

"I'll keep the freak alive, Nakago-sama!"

"I'll return with the electric eel in tow, Nakago-sama!"

The two turned to glare at each other.

"Who are you calling a freak, whore?"

"Who are you calling an eel, gay-boy?"

Nakago gave them both the Icy Glare of Death (tm) and waved them out of the room. They saluted and left. After the door closed, Nakago growled to himself and massaged his temples. If those morons got themselves killed his whole bid for power was going to be in jeopardy. And why oh why did they have to sniff after him like he was a bitch in heat? Being propositioned by anyone was the last thing he wanted, so he tried his damndest to discourage them by being icy and forbidding, even cruel when he got too frustrated and needed to lash out at someone, but nothing seemed to have any impact on them…

* * *

After they left the briefing room, Soi and Tomo turned to look suspiciously at each other.

"I suppose we ought to pack." said Tomo.

"Probably…" Soi hesitated. "Tomo… did you think… that Nakago seemed a bit…."

"Anxious? Morbid? Dare I say… intimidated by this Miboshi?"

"Yeah."

"No, I didn't notice any such thing. Kakakakaka!"

Soi gritted her teeth. "Freak."

"Eel."

Soi rolled her eyes. "Allright fine, I'm just _imagining_ that Nakago seemed to think we might actually get killed. Humor me. Before we start packing let's say a little prayer to Seiryuu, ok? It can't hurt."

Tomo tipped his head to consider this. "Hmm. Perhaps that's not such a bad idea."

Soi spun on her heel and strode toward Seiryuu's shrine, Tomo following more languidly behind.

* * *

Soi knelt matter-of-factly before the statue of the dragon god. Tomo lit a stick of incense, then knelt gracefully beside her.

"Great Lord Seiryuu, please hear your seishi!" Soi began.

"Heavenly Dragon, please heed your chosen warriors!" Added Tomo in a surprisingly impressive theater voice. Soi raised an eyebrow, but decided it was best not to comment in the middle of a prayer.

"We ask you, Seiryuu, to look down on your seishi Miboshi. We are worried that he uses his abilities to benefit himself, and has shown no interest in using them to help summon you."

"We are disconcerted that even the great Nakago-sama, your chosen Shogun, is… ah… concerned that Miboshi might use his power to interfere with your glorious goals."

"Thus we ask that you appear to Miboshi and convince him to cooperate with us."

"Or, that you take your power from him and give it to someone who will be a more loyal seishi."

Soi's glance said, _Oh, that might work too_.

Tomo's glance said, _Well, if Seiryuu happens to actually be listening…_

Each thinking to him/herself, _If Seiryuu chooses a new person I hope he's hot!_, they recited the closing phrase together: "Seiryuu, hear our plea!"

A sapphire light began to gather in the statue of the dragon god. Soi and Tomo blinked, then Soi smirked _Told you so…_ Tomo hmmphed and focused on the divine light. It grew larger, until it was the size of a doorway… then the light flashed brightly and a figure stumbled through.

"N-Nakago-sama?!" The tall blond figure blinked, and as the last of the blue light dissipated the two kneeling seishi realized that this was not quite Nakago – his eyes were green, not blue, and his hair was longer. And what he was wearing… well, neither Tomo nor Soi knew what punk fashion was, but Nakago would probably not be seen wearing black leather and so much jewelry. Although it was an interesting concept…

"Uh… hello?" the man spoke.

Soi recovered fractionally sooner and stood up, brushing herself off and bowing to the newcomer. "Greetings. I am Soi and _that_ is Tomo." Tomo, realizing he had been gazing hypnotized at this Nakago lookalike, (he had been thinking _Please be gay, please be gay, please be gay…_) blinked and unfolded himself from the floor to stand beside Soi. He folded his arms over his chest and attempted to look impressive. Soi ignored him, and continued, "We are Seriyuu seishi, celestial warriors of the dragon god. May I assume you are Miboshi?"

I blinked at the two oddly dressed oriental people in front of me. "Dragon god? Um, last I knew my name was Mare. Well, Mary actually, but everyone calls me Mare." I noticed that my voice suddenly had that froggy, octave-deeper-than-usual sound, but I shrugged this off as a lower priority that finding out where the hell I was.

"Mareu?" Tomo tested out the name, trying to pronounce it with Chinese phonemes. It felt good on his tongue.

"Uh, close enough. Oh, what were your names again?"

"I'm Tomo, and _that_ is Soi."

"Nice to meet you." I suddenly noticed all the dragon art adorning the shrine, and began examining it, delighted. "Wow, this artwork is beautiful! If you guys are into dragons that's cool with me, they're my favorite subject to draw and sculpt." I had been slowly turning to inspect the room, and now I caught sight of the magnificent gem-encrusted statue that ruled the room, looming over the altar. "Ohmygosh that's the dragon I dreamed about last night! Only he was surrounded with blue light…" Entranced, I reached out and caressed the statue, reveling in the feel of the textured gold, smooth jade, and distinct edges of the emeralds and sapphires beneath my fingers.

Tomo and Soi looked at each other in confusion. Soi said, mostly to herself, "Well, if Seiryuu appeared to him, he must be the new Miboshi, right? Can't be the original Miboshi, Nakago said he was a midget with a third eye in the middle of his forehead."

'Him?' I thought, puzzled. I know I'm a tomboy but people don't usually actually mistake me for a guy… I glanced down at myself and froze, a little eep of surprise escaping my lips. Flat… Where the hell did my boobs go?! I patted over my chest and my hands confirmed the same solid male pectoral muscles that my eyes were reporting. I started to grab lower down, then stopped remembering I was being watched. But now that my attention was focused down there, it was obvious that something felt different… I looked up at my audience and stuttered out, "I-I'm a guy!" No wonder my voice was deeper than usual.

Tomo and Soi looked at each other, looked at me, looked at each other… at last Soi ventured, "Um, you look male to me."

"B-but… I was a girl this morning! What did you guys _do_ to me?!"

"It wasn't me." said Tomo.

"We don't have the power to do that kind of thing – Seiryuu must have thought it was important that you would be male."

"Seiryuu?"

Tomo pointed to the statue I had just been petting. "Seiryuu. The dragon god who appeared to you. And apparently chose you to be his 7th celestial warrior, Miboshi."

"Uh… what does being that entail?"

Soi explained sardonically, "Well, you get a nifty blue symbol and a divine power of some sort – Miboshi's was supposed to be mental manipulation, but yours might be different because Sieryuu switched…"

"Uh, that sounds like a good deal… but why turn me into a guy? And how did I get here, wherever here is?"

"Seiryuu brought you, presumably, and 'here' is Kutou." supplied Tomo. 

"Never heard of it. Jeez, are we even in the United States?"

Soi raised an eyebrow. "I don't know a place by that name. This is the land of four kingdoms, and we're in the kingdom of Kutou, specifically in the capital city."

"Kingdoms? You mean with actual kings? But there are only a handful of those still in existence…"

"Do you think he might be from Yui's world?" asked Tomo excitedly. "That would explain the style of clothing, and where a hin came from – I thought Nakago-sama was the only one left alive in this area."

"What's a hin?" I inquired.

Tomo blinked, and, wanting to be diplomatic, looked to Soi. Soi ventured, "Well, a hin is someone who looks like you – pale, and some have gold hair like you and Nakago-sama."

"Oh, you mean a caucasian? Well where I'm from most of the people are caucasians, although some are oriental like you two, and some are other kinds: African, Native American, Hispanic, Indian… we _must_ be somewhere out of the United States if there's only one other caucasian around, not to mention kings…" Suddenly my eyes widened. "Dude, is this the past?! Do you guys know what cars and computers and things are?"

"He must be from Yui's world!"

"How should I know? Look," she turned to me, "we'll just take you to Nakago and he can make sure you're actually Miboshi and explain things. Right Tomo?"

"Um…" Tomo hesitated, trying to imagine how Nakago would react to suddenly being faced with another hin. "Well I suppose we had better."

I took a deep breath and reviewed the situation: I was wandering around in a guy's body in some pre-technologic fantasyland. Maybe I had cracked under the strain of that last research paper? I was a lucid dreamer, so I would know if I was dreaming, and this felt way too real… I shrugged and followed the two pretty celestial warriors down the hall. Somehow the opportunity to admire flowing hair and pert behinds made me feel more at home. Being male for a while could be interesting. Good thing I'm bi though, or the experience might be rather dis_orient_ing. I snickered to myself. Hmm, I wonder what my magic power is going to be? Soi mentioned mental manipulation, I could do a lot with that…

* * *

We reached the door to the conference room. Soi knocked.

"Who is it?" growled Nakago.

"Soi and Tomo."

"What are you doing back here?! Get in here and explain why you're not packing!" I was puzzled to note that Tomo and Soi both took a deep breath and visibly braced themselves before Soi pulled the door open. They looked adult enough not to be scared of a guy just because he was crabby. Although they did look a few years younger than me… I followed them into the room, and sure enough, the blond guy glaring at them did look quite a bit like me. Like girl-me I mean, because I had no idea exactly what this male version of myself looked like. Then the man spotted me and froze in mid-question. He didn't blink in shock, he was too controlled for that, but his whole body tensed.

"Who in the hell are you?!" spat Nakago.

"Uh… I'm Mare, these guys said I was a star soldier of the dragon god, or something like that? I don't know, I'm not from this world…"

He squinted at me and glowed slightly blue, then relaxed a bit. "Not an illusion. Mareu? Are you from Yui's world?"

"I dunno, who's Yui?"

"I'm asking the questions here! How did you get in the palace?"

"I'm not sure exactly… there was this big flash of blue light and suddenly I was standing in front of Tomo and Soi in a room with lots of dragon art."

Nakago's brow furrowed. "Soi?"

"Well Tomo and I thought we should pray to Seiryuu before we left, so we went to the shrine. We prayed, asking that Seiryuu either make Miboshi cooperate or give his power to someone who would be less difficult to deal with. And, well, there was a big blue light and Mareu appeared, so it seems Seiryuu answered us. His chi feels like he's a seishi, but you can tell better than I could…"

Nakago once more squinted at me and glowed blue. "Perhaps he is a new Miboshi… that would be extremely convenient. Mareu, would you please think of something that makes you very, very angry?"

"Why?"

Nakago's eyes narrowed, but he replied calmly, "If you are angry enough your seishi symbol will glow and we will know for sure that you are Miboshi."

"Ok, I'll try." I closed my eyes and thought about homework… heaping piles of unreasonable, pointless homework… Calculus and Latin homework and a 12 page paper on the most boring imaginable Victorian novel… and my mom and dad complaining about how much my tuition costs and accusing me of being lazy and wasting my chance to 'make something of myself'…" I felt a burning at the base of my throat, right where the pendant of a medium-length necklace would be, and my eyes snapped open. I pulled the neck of my shirt open a little, and a blue glow escaped into the room.

"Basket." Pronounced Nakago. "Miboshi. It seems that you two don't have to go journeying after all. Praise Seiryuu for making all our lives a little easier. Soi, you go retrieve Yui." Tomo smirked at Soi, thinking _You have to run errands and I don't!_, but his pleasure was short-lived. "Tomo, you get the twins and bring them back here." Now Soi grinned and Tomo grimaced. Both pretty seishi left and I found myself alone with my rather intimidating lookalike.

"So. I am the Shogun Nakago, leader of the Seiryuu sieshi, and you will take orders from me. Your primary duty is to defend the miko Yui and your fellow seishi. What name do you prefer to go by, Mareu or Miboshi? And what skills do you have that might be useful in carrying out your seishi duties?"

"I prefer Mareu, please. Um, skills… I can ride a horse, that's probably useful. I have a lot of general skills: cooking, sewing, basic mechanics and carpentry. I'm good with people: I can babysit, teach, act, persuade, comfort… See, my professional training is to draw, paint, sculpt, and create stories, but none of that seems particularly useful at the moment."

"Please tell me you have _some_ kind of combat training."

"Oh, well I had a little training with rapier and sabre, but I wouldn't do very well against someone who'd had real training. I know a little archery, or I could probably use a crossbow. I know how to shoot a handgun or a rifle, but I don't imagine those exist here."

Nakago grunted. "Lovely. So essentially you have the skills of a housewife plus those of a tinker, and minimal combat training." Nakago paused, then looked puzzled, and I realized that he had expected me to be insulted by being compared to a housewife.

"Um, one thing that got left out of the story of my arrival here, is that I was a woman this morning – Seiryuu must have thought it's be more useful for me to be male, because that's what I discovered I was when I got here." Nakago's eyebrows went up. "So that's why I'm not terribly bothered to be compared to a housewife. But even had I been born male I would have received approximately the same education because that's how things are done in the United States." 

"Hmm. Seiryuu probably knew what he was doing. To the common people you're a hin, and they have no love for us – as a woman you would have been at a higher risk of rape and other unpleasantness. You're still best off not going anywhere alone, so keep that in mind. Well, we'll get you a sword to practice with and with luck you'll be able to figure out how to use your seishi power quickly and it will be something that's useful for fighting. How old are you, by the way?"

"Twenty-one." At that moment there was a knock on the door.

"Enter!" called Nakago, and Soi came in with a girl, presumably Yui. She was also fair-haired, although not so much as Nakago and myself, and she looked about half Japanese.

"I am Yui, Seiryuu no miko. Soi says you might be from my world? Are you British?"

"American actually. I'm Mare, or Mareu as everyone seems to be pronouncing it. You're from the real world? Where there are cars and computers and no magic?"

"Yes, before I came here I was a Japanese high school student."

"I'm a senior university student majoring in art and English. Nice to meet you!"

"You're an English major? Say, could you possibly help me study some English while we're here? I have to take my high school entrance exams when I get back and I want to be prepared."

"Uh, I suppose so, if there's time. I hear those exams are a bitch, I'm glad I didn't have to take them."

Soi pointed at my clothes and asked, "So is that the uniform for your school? It's very different from Yui's." Yui and I both cracked up.

"Nonono, my university doesn't have uniforms. My clothing is casual, what you would call 'punk' style." Another knock at the door.

"Enter!" Tomo came back in, followed by a surprisingly young pair of twins.

"Wow, you look like Nakago-san! Are you Miboshi?" one asked excitedly.

"It seems so, although I would prefer to be called Mareu if you don't mind."

"Cool, now we have everyone!" The other twin smiled, but stayed silent.

Nakago cleared his throat, and suddenly everyone quietly seated themselves around the conference table. Why was everybody so afraid of this guy? "Mareu, Yui is your miko, and these are the other seishi you must protect and cooperate with. There's one more, but he's a wolfman, so we don't let him in the palace. You'll meet him later."

A wolfman. I quirked one eyebrow. Sure, why not?

"Since you're from Yui's world and you don't know the palace and you have to figure out how to use your seishi powers as quickly as possible, I'm going to assign one of the others to be your guide."

The other seishi waited for Nakago's pronouncement with feelings ranging from mild curiosity (the twins), through eagerness (Soi), to _Nakago's never going to pick me…_ (Tomo).

Nakago's thoughts went something like this: _This guy looks like me. I definitely don't want him near Soi. Tomo's crush on me is really annoying, maybe his attention can be diverted to this guy, and then he and Soi would have fewer of their stupid squabbles… I hate to be nice to him, but he's still a freak, so Mareu probably won't like him, and he'll still be tormented… _Nakago _almost_ smiled. "Tomo. You babysit Mareu. Get him a room, a sword, some clothes, a horse from the stables, etc." Tomo's eyes widened. _Me?!? But, but Nakago's never nice to me!_ Soi's eyes also widened. _Tomo?! Why don't I get to play guide to the bisienen? Ooh, maybe Nakago's jealous!_

Nakago continued nonchalantly, "Mareu, your duties for the moment are to resume your sword training, learn to use your powers, and stay out of trouble. I will summon you in a few days to check on your progress. If you need help with anything ask one of the other seishi."

I nodded. "Okay, no problem."

"Fine." Nakago returned his attention to the strategic map and stacks of military dispatches on the table. "Dismissed." The twins and Yui went back to whatever they had been doing, and I found myself standing in the hall with Tomo and Soi.

"Don't scare off the new boy, opera freak." shot Soi, smirking at Tomo, then winking at me and turning to leave.

"Take your static elsewhere, eel." Tomo riposted. She didn't look back at him, just waved her hand as if his words were gnats and she was shooing them away.

I raised an eyebrow at Tomo. "Heh, you two seem to have quite a rivalry going."

He turned to me, and it was hard to tell, but I thought he might have turned a little pink under the facepaint. Hmm… "A rivalry… you could call it that. Soi's annoying. I think I know where an empty room is…"

"By all means, lead on, my guide!" I said playfully. Narrow gold eyes dwelled on me for a moment longer than necessary. Then he turned away and I noticed that the unpainted skin of his throat was decidedly pink. I smiled to myself and followed him. "So Tomo, what exactly do celestial warriors do? Are we just bodyguards for the miko, or what?"

"Well, Kutou is a kingdom torn by internal strife, and our overall goal is to summon Seiryuu and ask him to unite the land. Of course everyone has their own goals: Nakago wants power, Soi wants Nakago, Yui wants to go home and never see this place again, the twins their farm back… also, there's another miko in Konan with her own seishi, and we fight them."

"Um… am I gonna… actually have to kill people?"

"…probably. I don't think Yui has killed anyone yet, but she doesn't have any useful divine powers to do it with. Everyone else has found it necessary to take a few lives though. Sometimes people just get in the way, but usually those who die are not innocents, but bandits, slave traders, rapists, bigoted people who insult Nakago for being a hin before they realize how powerful he is… people who don't deserve _not_ to die." The word 'rapists' had been tucked inconspicuously into the middle of the list, but I noted the extra emotion with which he hissed the word and filed that information away for later use.

"I suppose I'll be able to do it then… it's such an odd idea though, when you're raised to believe that human life and happiness is the only sacred thing…"

Tomo wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he was glad to spot the door he was looking for and have an excuse to change the subject. "Here, this room is empty, and some of the rest of us have rooms in this hall, so you'll be able to find one of us quickly if you need something. The twins' room is that one, Soi's is the one down there, and mine is the one opposite." He pushed open the door, revealing a fully-furnished but obviously uninhabited room. I was happy because the room was bigger than my dorm room and there was a nice big cozy bed complete with those canopy/curtain things, a big desk that would be perfect for drawing, and an inviting-looking armchair.

"Nice. This'll be a good place to live."

"Good, we'll get the key from the palace chatelaine. What next, sword and horse, or clothes?"

"Clothes please – I'd rather not think about killing people for a little while."

_Why is he so open?_ wondered Tomo. _If I wasn't disposed to be nice to him I could have insulted him a dozen times already from the openings where he's let his feelings show. Nakago could eat him alive._ But all Tomo said was, "I'll be amused to see what the palace tailors make of your 'punk' clothes."

I took a moment to look in the mirror. "Hmm… I still look like me, just male. How odd." I studied my reflection for a few minutes more. "Interesting. Alright then, let's go order me some clothes to go with my new look."


	3. Mareu Stands Around In His Underwear

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc. See Chapter 1 for disclaimers and warnings. 

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 2 – In Which Mareu Stands Around In His Underwear

"L-lord Nakago!" The tailor sprang to his feet, startled, and saluted me. I looked confusedly to Tomo, not sure how I should react to this.

Tomo posed haughtily and drawled, "Look again, baka. That's not Nakago-sama, that's the 7th Seiryuu seishi Mareu-san."

The tailor blinked and peered nearsightedly at me. "Oh dear me, I'm sorry!" He turned imploringly to Tomo. "Please don't tell the shogun I made such an awkward mistake!"

"Well, I don't see any reason to bother Nakago-sama about it, provided you follow Nakago's command to promptly provide Mareu-san with some stylish but functional clothing." Like a wine connoisseur analyzing the bouquet of a new vintage, I sized up Tomo's style of communication. Unusually sharp… one might even say bitchy, but without unpleasant undertones of anger or whineyness. Intriguing…

"Of course, of course, Tomo-san! It's a privilege to serve a seishi!" Turning to me he made a small bow. "Mareu-san, how may I serve you?"

"Well, I'm going to need riding clothes, including boots, although I'm not sure if you make shoes here…?"

"Yes, you can have boots made here, that's no problem." The tailor began making notes on a sheet of paper.

"Okay. Do you have jewelry here too?"

"No, I'm sorry sir, for that you have to go into town."

"All right, have to do that later then… So lets see, I'll need a riding outfit or two, socks and underclothing… um… Help me out here, Tomo, what do people around here wear? I can't just ask for cargo pants and a t-shirt, no one will know what I'm talking about."

"You want a lined, hooded cloak, a swordbelt if you're going to be carrying a sword around, a bedroll, a travelling pack, one formal outfit in case you get summoned to any court functions, although they generally leave us alone, slippers for when you're in your room, a few scarves or bandannas, probably a dressing gown, and two or three sets of casual clothes." The tailor was writing madly, trying to get all of that down.

I blinked. "Thank you Tomo, that was very, um, thorough."

Tomo wasn't sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, so instead of responding he asked, "What, pray tell, are cargo pants?"

"They're trousers made of heavy material that have six or eight large pockets – they're very useful for travelling, camping, that sort of thing." I watched the tailor, and when he was finished writing I added, "I'm allergic to wool, sheep leather, and rabbit fur, so none of that can be in my clothes, and if the leather has to be treated with oil it can't be sheep oil, ok?"

"Ah, good thing you told me. Are there any colors or fabrics you prefer?"

"Well, I don't like brown or orange… or pink… do you have some fabrics I can look at? I'd like to just pick out what I want if it's ok."

"Certainly sir, right in here is the fabric room!" He led me around the corner, and Tomo followed.

I picked out a green silk that matched my eyes, a pale yellow that matched my hair, black, and white. And a rich violet that just caught my eye. "These colors, in silk, cotton, or leather, will be good. The cloak and boots should be black, the court outfit should have the green and/or the violet; beyond that I don't care, you can think up something aesthetically pleasing, that's your job. Aren't there any printed or painted fabrics?"

"Printed? We do make painted fabrics, we paint them to order here."

"Oh. Well, I'm partial to animal print, particularly tiger stripes, leopard spots, and peacock feathers."

Tomo and the tailor blinked. "Leopard spotted fabric?" drawled Tomo. "What an… interesting concept."

"Tye-dye is good too, but I don't imagine you know how to make that, and I haven't really got time to explain it. So anyway, if you want to use something other than the plain colors I gave you, you can use fabric painted in one of those patterns. Like the purple silk with blue or black spots painted on, or white silk with purple or green stripes – you get the idea?"

"Yes, yes, what an exciting idea!" bubbled the tailor.

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Do I have to decide anything else, or do you need to measure me, or what?"

"Yes, I need to measure you for the clothes, and then a cobbler will need to measure your feet for the boots."

"Alrighty. Where do I stand and what do I need to take off?"

"Fitting room is over here, please take off everything except your undergarments, if you don't mind." I followed the tailor to the fitting room (passing another man who was painting cherry blossoms on white silk). Tomo hesitated.

I looked back at him and smiled. "You can come in, it's ok with me. Probably marginally less boring than waiting in the hall."

He froze for a moment, then nodded and followed me in, sliding the door closed behind him. I chuckled to myself, wondering if he didn't say anything because he couldn't decide what to say, or because he didn't trust his voice. Either way, he was decidedly pink beneath the facepaint. Ah, it's fun to be a bisienen!

I went behind the changing screen and shucked my clothing, discovering that I was mysteriously wearing as underwear a pair of black satin boxers that had previously belonged to a set of pajamas I owned. Seiryuu must have switched that when he made me a guy. Good job he remembered – I wouldn't want to have to walk out there in girl underwear, or worse, in no underwear. I considered peeking inside to see what kind of equipment I had, but refrained because I didn't know how to make this body not have an erection, so it seemed best to avoid looking at anything interesting. The cool of the room on my chest felt decidedly odd, and I had to remind myself _You're a guy, it's ok for you to not wear a shirt_. before I left the safety of the changing screen.

I commanded myself to be nonchalant, and walked out into the room. The tailor motioned me to stand on the fitting box, so I stepped up onto it. I noticed that there were a couple of chairs along one wall, and Tomo had seated himself on one of these with his legs crossed. When I turned my gaze on him he quickly tore his eyes away from me and pretended to study the koi painted on the changing screen. I hid a smile, and turned partially away from him so he would feel free to admire me.

I had been measured by a tailor once before (for a bridesmaid's gown) so this wasn't that strange of an experience – basically I stood there for ten minutes, moving as he commanded so that he could measure everything he needed to. I cautiously stole a sideways glance at Tomo through the concealing curtain of my hair. Wide gold eyes watching me, and a small smile on his lips. Calm, cool, and collected… as long as he didn't have to meet my eyes, heheheh. _He'd be so much more attractive without the facepaint though, I can tell he has a good facial structure… I wonder why he wears it? That style of design looks familiar, but I can't remember what it was associated with, just that it's something oriental, and not the kind a geisha wears. Maybe it goes with whatever social position he has – maybe he's a priest of the dragon god or a witch doctor or something. I'll have to keep an eye out and see if anyone else is wearing similar paint._

The tailor told me he was done, so I went behind the screen and threw my clothes back on. He led us into yet another room full of half-made boots and shoes, and turned me over to a cobbler. "This," the tailor carefully instructed his co-worker, "is _Mareu-san_, a new sei. Lord Nakago commands he be clothed, and he needs slippers and riding boots, black leather, don't use anything that came from a sheep or rabbit fur, he's allergic. And mark the leather you use, there's to be a matching sword-belt. Got it?"

"Hai. Sir, if you would please take a seat and remove your shoes and socks?" The cobbler cast an odd look at my high-top sneakers, but didn't say anything. I followed his instructions, and presented him with a foot to measure. _Huh, even my feet look like guy feet. _The cobbler laid a ruler alongside my foot, read the length aloud, then turned to a cabinet and pulled open the drawer marked with the same length. This turned out to contain foot-shapes made out of leather, which he held up to my foot to determine which had the best fit. It was patently obvious, however, that these patterns were made for feet much narrower than mine.

Tomo, who had been leaning against the wall watching disinterestedly, commented, "You might try Lord Nakago's pattern."

"Yes, I was just considering that." He opened another drawer and tried the pattern therein against my foot. It was a perfect fit. I raised an eyebrow. The tailor smiled and said, "Oh, good, we'll just use this one then." He grabbed a tape measure and took some measurements for the arch of my foot, the length of my shin, and the circumference of my calf at its widest point and the point just below my kneecap. "Okay, that's all I need."

Exiting the suite, we passed the tailor once more, and he gestured at a package beside him. "There are the socks and undergarments if you want them now, we always keep some ready in stock. You can take them with you or I can have them delivered."

"I'll take them, thank you. The rest of the clothes can be delivered whenever they're ready."

"The sooner the better." put in Tomo with just the smallest amount of threat.

"Yes of course Tomo-san, they should all be done within a week, some sooner." Tomo nodded, and turned to leave. I slung my package over my shoulder and followed him.

"Let's get your key now."

"Ok!" I responded cheerily. Getting new clothes always puts me into a good mood. I whistled a few phrases of "Gonna Dress You Up in My Love" and Tomo looked at me oddly.

"What strange music."

I shrugged. "It's what I grew up with, and I like nice cheerful music that bounces happily along. What kind of music do you like?"

"Opera." he said flatly, and I looked at him curiously, wondering how Italian music could have possibly found its way to ancient China. Then I remembered.

"Oh, right! That goes with the paint, doesn't it? I knew that style of design looked familiar, but I wasn't quite able to place it before. I haven't actually seen any Chinese opera, but I read a book about it once."

Tomo raised one eyebrow, and looked at me as if he were waiting for something. Probably for me to ask him why he was wearing opera facepaint, although for all I knew it was a fairly common thing to do here. Then I recalled Soi calling Tomo 'opera freak' and figured it probably wasn't that common. I tried to think of a diplomatic way to phrase my inquiry.

"So are you in the opera?"

He was quiet a moment, then said, "I was, until Nakago found me and brought me to the palace to be a Seiryuu seishi." Interesting. His voice had been soft and almost flat, so I couldn't read his emotions from it, and the paint hid the details of his expression. Hmm, maybe that was its purpose…?

"I've done some things with American theater. Not acting, but stage crew, painting sets, making costumes, doing makeup, art kind of things. It was fun." I had no idea why Tomo was looking at me with such perplexity. "What?"

"Nothing. We're here." I saw that we were indeed at the chatelaine's office. Tomo pushed the door open and my opportunity to pursue the subject further vanished. I sighed, and followed him inside, to discover him and the man behind the desk having a silent glaring match.

"Uh, hi, I need a key? I'm a new seishi, I'm moving into an empty room in their hall…?"

The official-looking man, looked at me, blinked, then narrowed his eyes at me. "Which room?" he inquired acidly.

"Um, the one across the hall from Tomo-san's. It has yellow walls…"

The man wordlessly reached into his desk, withdrew a key, and dropped it into my palm, carefully keeping himself distant from me.

"Thanks."

He glared at me. "Don't damage the room."

I blinked. "Of course."

Tomo turned and strode out of the room, so I turned and followed him, hurrying to keep up with his angry pace. "What's the matter with him, he have something against seishi?"

"He doesn't like you because you're a hin." said Tomo bluntly.

"But he didn't like you, and you're not a hin."

"He doesn't like me for other reasons." Which Tomo was obviously not inclined to explain what they were. Obvious possibilities being his costume or the fact that he was attracted to guys, if that was public knowledge. I didn't want to make him any more irritated than he already was, so I let the subject drop.

Tomo looked at me, surprised at my silence, and I just smiled at him. Then I was astonished to see him, very tentatively, smile back, and exchange his stride for a more casual pace.

"So…" I asked eventually, "How do these divine powers work? What's your seishi power?"

"My power is illusion – I can create an illusory object, say a sword, or a wolf, and for as long as it lasts it affects things as if it were real: it cuts, or bites, or whatever. I can also wrap a person in a whole illusory world, and while they're distracted they can be captured or killed."

"That would be really a really nifty ability if you were directing artists – you could just show them an illusion of what you wanted, and then they would know what you wanted them to make! How convenient!"

Tomo snorted, "Yeah, provided you can convince the artists you're not a black magician or a demon or something. I've commissioned things that way a few times, but it's really more trouble than it's worth, because people are stupid and afraid of anything different…"

I sighed. "Well, that's sad but true. That's why you have to cherish the few people who have open minds, and delight in the strange and new rather than fearing it."

Tomo blinked and considered this silently for a moment. "Hn. Soi might agree with you. Nakago definitely wouldn't. It's odd how you look so much like him, yet your personality is utterly opposite."

"It seems so. I'll have to study him more before I can guess at his motivations."

Tomo swallowed, suddenly afraid Mareu might be yet another person who would fall for Nakago and be hurt by his coldness. "You intend to study Nakago-sama?"

"I intend to study all the seishi. I'm a people person, I always like to understand the people around me."

"Oh." Tomo was soothed. "Ne, you wanted to know what the rest of the seishi's powers are, right? Nakago is the most powerful of us, he can throw ki balls, create defensive barriers, use ki to augment his physical strength, teleport… various things like that. Soi can control the weather and summon lightning to zap things, usually me it seems. Annoying wench… Anyway, Ashitare the wolfman has great physical strength and speed, Amiboshi uses music to channel his magic, if you're fighting with him you have to remember to keep your ears covered. Suboshi can move objects with his mind, which gives him deadly accuracy with his chosen weapon, the ryuuseisui."

"Hmm, that's a wide range of powers. How am I supposed to figure out what my powers are?"

"Well… go into an empty part of the garden where you can't blow anything important up, make yourself really mad or afraid, and see what happens, I suppose. Although if your powers primarily affect people you may need to go into town, find a hiding place, and practice on the townsfolk."

"Oh. Uh, ok." The morality of that last thought was questionable, but all of the advice seemed quite practical and clearly thought-out. Tomo seemed fairly intelligent, IQ certainly more than 120 as an initial estimate. That was good, I generally found smart people easier to work with, as well as simply more interesting than people of average intelligence.

We were back at my room, so I dropped my package of underwear off on the bed. I also took off my watch and checked through my pockets to see if there was anything I didn't need to carry around. Heh, my wallet, bet that wasn't going to be very useful, since ancient china probably didn't take dollars and credit cards… "Tomo, do we get an allowance for being seishi? I just realized I only have American money." I held up a bill as an example.

"Well Nakago is a shogun, so the rest of us are technically part of his division of the army, and as such we are on the payroll. You can request your enlistment bonus from the payroll officer, if Nakago remembered to notify him that you're here. Or he'd probably take Soi's word for it."

"Ok, well I need some money before I can buy the rest of the things I need in town. Should we try to do that now, or get the sword and the horse taken care of?"

Tomo frowned. "Well… actually it would be helpful to have Soi along for that too. I know horses fairly well, but Soi knows the officer in charge of the stable, and she knows a lot more about swords than I do. I'm not generally inclined to ask her for help, but you're going to need to be well-equipped, and she'll probably help if _you_ ask her."

"I'll ask her, if you think it's a good idea. Do you know where to find her?" _Yay, I get to have two pretties as my guides!_

"She's probably at the practice field now. It's this way." I locked my door with my brand new key and followed him into the maze of the palace's hallways once more. I've never been very good with directions, and I could tell already that I was going to be hopelessly lost here for a while. At least every part of the palace seemed to have its own unique architectural style, that might help a little.

As Tomo and I walked, we passed several of the palace's other inhabitants. Judging from their clothing, I guessed that some were maids, some uniformed guards or servants, and others nobles; aside from the maids there were very few women, and I recalled Nakago's judgement that I was better off male. The idea of a repressive patriarchal culture made me nervous, I couldn't quite get my brain around the idea that as a male that threat didn't apply to me any more.

Equally disconcerting was the fact that all these random people seemed to be torn between gawking at me or getting out of my way as quickly as possible. Some of the guards even saluted. Obviously everyone assumed I was Nakago despite my odd clothing, and their reactions once again made me speculate about why everyone seemed so intimidated by him. My instinct was to shout 'I'm not like that! Everybody thinks I'm charming! People trust me to baby-sit their children!' but that didn't seem like a strategically sound idea. If this place was as rough as Nakago and Tomo had implied, I was going to have to hide in the shadow of Nakago's reputation for a while, at least until I figured out what my powers were and could hopefully protect myself with them. The idea of letting people think I was someone I'm not did not sit well at all with me, but I did my best to ignore the feeling and focus on the tasks at hand.


	4. Seishi Skillz

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

AN: Hey minna-chan! Can you believe it, after a year chapter 3 finally exists! Chapters 4 and 5 are already written, so I'll be putting them up… or rather, I'll be putting up 4 and the first part of five, and a link to the NC-17 stuff, which will be archived elsewhere. Please review here though! I love your reviews, and they all disappeared when fanfiction.net deleted the NC-17 version of this fic! ;_; 

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 3 - Seishi Skillz  


The practice field turned out to be, literally enough, a field, and the first glimpse I'd had of the world outside the palace. The trees and other plants looked fairly normal, not like man-eating flytraps and animate snapdragons, or whatever other exotica I might have expected to find in a magical land if my subconscious mind had made it up. So maybe I was actually here and I hadn't lost my mind? I shrugged philosophically. It didn't really matter anyway; I would feel the same things and act according to my ethics either way, I wasn't one to go around lying or stealing just because I was in a dream. Not because I was some Sunday-school 'Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, do no evil' kind of girl, not at all! Err… kind of guy? Kind of _person_. Ahem.

What I was, was a lucid dreamer. When I dreamed I generally knew I was dreaming and could make decisions that would affect the path of the dream. I could have turned every dream into a peaceful flight through fluffy white clouds just by spreading my arms like wings and asserting my will that I _was_ flying. _But_ I didn't. A peaceful flight through fluffy white clouds is meaningless. I stayed on the ground, or flew low enough that I could be chased and caught, I played along with whatever scenario my unconscious mind had dreamed up that night, because I wanted the challenge, the new and different, the emotional roller coaster. 

Maybe it would sound strange to someone else, but one of my favorite dreams I ever had was just me angsting over the fact that my lover had rejected me and was now ignoring me; all I did was gaze at him longingly from afar, I didn't even try to talk to him. It wasn't that I got off on being rejected, it was that I was savoring the beautiful rush of emotion I was feeling. I am naturally of a placid, staid temperament and it is rare that anything really makes me feel deeply, yet I crave drama and emotion in my life. I try to feed my craving by creating evocative art and stories, and living dramatically. Dream or real, this was an adventure and I was going to give it my usual enthusiastic and cunning attempt.

It was in this spirit that I stepped for the first time out into the foreign sun, and that I watched with awe the red whirlwind that was Soi and her sword, giving lessons to some new recruit. _Wow, she's as good as the state level competitors in my university's fencing program! _She had all the beauty of the victorious athlete: muscles poised with delicious tension, then flowing into motion; skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat; long auburn hair whipping behind her in counterpoint to each motion of her body.

"Wow…" I remarked distractedly to my companion. Soi forced her opponent to yield, ending her battle. I turned to Tomo to complete my sentence, but was slightly taken aback to find him sneering rather angrily at her. I remembered their earlier exchange off insults and realized I had made the diplomatic error of complimenting her to her rival. Oops. I hesitated over what to say next, then decided that the only way to repair the situation was to continue on the topic and give him a chance to vent his spleen about it. This would be much preferable to having him play 'malevolent figure lurking in the background' while I was trying to get Soi to help me. So, I heaved a dramatic sigh to get Tomo's attention back on me, then finished my original sentence, "Damn. Lessons or not, I am never going to be _that_ good with a sword." I shook my head mournfully.

Tomo scowled, and I blinked at the startling way the twist of a few muscles transformed his facepaint from interesting and dramatic to frightening. _Huh, what a weird effect. Maybe those bars of color are placed at psychologically significant places on the face?_

"Soi's not _that_ good." he said petulantly.

I raised one eyebrow skeptically at this evaluation. "Compared to _who_? She'd wipe the field with _me_. Do you fence?"

He sniffed haughtily. "The sword is a weapon of brute force. _I_ prefer the delicate balance of the throwing blade."

I blinked, impressed. "You can throw daggers?"

Tomo buffed his nails with practiced nonchalance. "I can hit a target the size of a man's hand at thirty paces."

My eyes got round. "Wow, cool! I always thought throwing daggers were a romantic weapon, you know because they're the weapon of an assassin or a thief or something." I realized the implications of what I had just said and rushed to apologize. "Err… not that I meant that you're an assassin or a thief or anything!"

Already mentally off balance from my slip of the tongue, I startled at the sound of Soi's voice at my shoulder, where she had approached while I was talking to Tomo. "No, he's not good enough to be an assassin. A thief though…" she gave him a knowing smirk.

He glared at her. "Shut up Soi." I blinked. Did that imply that he _was_ a thief? Anyone with the dexterity to throw knives would probably make a nimble pickpocket, but he'd never be able to sneak around unnoticed in _that_ get-up…

Soi smirked at him, "Make me."

Interesting as it would be to see the two of them get into a cat fight, I had things to accomplish today. _Down girls!_ I thought, but did not dare voice. Instead I cleared my throat to attract their attention. "Um, hi Soi. We're here to see if you could help with getting the sword and the horse. We both know a fair amount about horses but little about swords, and Tomo thought your expertise might be helpful.

Soi looked askance at Tomo. "Expertise?"

Tomo snorted. "What _I_ said was that you knew the officer in charge of the stable."

"Ahhh, I see." Soi waited just long enough for Tomo to look satisfied, then added, "_Mareu_'s polite." Tomo's expression went instantly sour, and I had to put a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing and putting him into a worse mood.

"Where I come from there is a saying: 'You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.' So I try to be sweet. Although personally I've always preferred the taste of vinegar… but that's neither here nor there." I shrugged. "Anyway, can you help?" Had I been alone with Soi I would have been more persuasive – smiled and batted my eyelids or some such silliness – but Tomo seemed always on the borderline of being jealous of Soi, and I didn't want to aggravate that.

"Yes, alright, I'm not needed here at the moment. The armory is closest, this way." she strode off, and Tomo and I followed.

***

So, now I had a sword I didn't know how to use, a pretty gray horse accompanied by the threat of early morning riding lessons beginning next week (ugh, I hate getting up early!), and, best of all, a purse full of gold and two amusing shopping companions. They were _still_ bickering; I was beginning to get the feeling that they did this all the time, although my presence was stirring them up by providing a new audience whose alliance they could fight over. I was having fun derailing their arguments by agreeing with both of them, or coming up with an unexpected third option, or replying with a cryptic proverb that could be interpreted as agreeing with either of them. I decided that I liked Tomo and Soi.

[They shop for various things]

I sat down, crossed my legs… and suddenly howled, as a pain much like a really bad menstrual cramp twisted my guts. "Owww!!!" My legs swiftly came uncrossed and I doubled over, instinctively trying to protect the injured spot. Soi, Tomo, _and_ the shopkeeper all hurried over to see what in the four kingdoms was the matter with me.

"Mareu?! What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

Through gritted teeth I managed to spit out, "_I'm fine._"

"You don't _look_ fine." commented Tomo dryly, probably recognizing the universal pose of a man curled around offended balls.

At the same time, Soi demanded, "But what _happened_?"

Teeth still gritted I rolled my eyes at the shopkeeper and ground out, "_Tell you later._" Thankfully the shopkeeper got the hint and retreated, leaving me to my misery and embarrassment.

"Do you need to see a healer?" asked Soi with real concern. Tomo was trying hard not to snicker.

"_No. _What I need are lessons in how guys manage to cross their legs without kneeing themselves in the balls." I grumbled, feeling just slightly better enough to speak in a normal tone of voice. Tomo tried vainly to stifle a snort of laughter, while Soi's eyes got big in sudden comprehension.

I tried to fix Tomo with one of my more withering glares and growl, "Gee, laugh at my pain why don't you?" but I couldn't help but snicker at the comicality of my situation, which kind of ruined my ability to be intimidating.

[Mareu recovers, they move on to the jewelry store]

Now, I _adore_ shopping for jewelry. That's why I've gotten most of my piercings – more holes=more jewelry opportunities! And this shop had some really _cool_ archaic stuff, stuff you would never find in an average jewelry store in America – not find any you could afford, anyway. There was lots of jade, of course, but I'm not a big fan of jade, it looks odd against my yellowy skin tone. There were necklaces made of coins, dragons clutching pearls, jewelry incorporating fangs, boar tusks, antlers, peacock feathers… I hardly knew where to look first.

[Mareu picks out a pair of opal earrings to coo over, but they're too expensive. Tomo is looking curiously over his shoulder. The shopkeeper, annoyed that they're not going to buy anything, insults the three seishi in various ways, including some sort of derogatory comment about homosexuality. They get pissed off and yell at the shopkeeper, then leave.]

"Gah! What a pompous ass!" I grumbled companionably to my seishi.

Tomo suddenly grinned evilly. "So, would you perhaps like a little revenge?" Now _there_ was a leading question if ever I'd heard one.

Cautiously I inquired, "What sort of revenge did you have in mind?"

Tomo grinned a me a little more widely, then he turned and smirked at Soi. "You wanted to see how good a thief I am?"

Soi's eyes widened at the implication of the question. She hadn't seen Tomo pocket anything, but then she had been busy glaring at that shopkeeper… "Did you take something?"

Tomo turned to me. "Mareu, hold out your hand."

I blinked, but I trusted him, so I held out my hand, palm up. Tomo held his closed fist over my hand and opened it, dropping two little somethings into my palm. Then he withdrew his hand with the flare of a stage magician, and suddenly to Soi's and my eyes was revealed a familiar pair of brilliant green and pink jelly opal earrings. My eyes widened.

"Oh wow! These are the opals I was looking at!"

Tomo smirked triumphantly. "Put them on."

I was very excited to show them off, and I reached to take out my second pair of earrings and replace them with the opal studs. But then I paused. "Err… You don't think I'll get in trouble, do you? What if someone sees me wearing these and knows that some just like them were just stolen…?"

Tomo just smirked more widely. "Oh, but they haven't just been stolen. They're sitting right where they were before – or at least, that's what you would think if you didn't know they were an illusion." he orated, illustrating his story with graceful hand gestures. "Unfortunately, the next time that pompous fool picks them up, they're going to slip right through his fat fingers. And no matter how much he crawls around looking for them, he won't find a thing – it will be as if they had just vanished into thin air."

I blinked, imagining this scenario. Then a huge grin took over my face. "That's wicked! I love it!" Reassured that I was not going to be accused as an accessory to theft, I gleefully put on the beautiful opals, then tossed my head to show off how they sparkled in the sun. "Well? Do they as good on me as they looked on display?"

Soi smiled. "Yes, they look lovely."

Tomo huffed at her words, then looked me all over more critically. "Hmm… I think… no."

Soi and I both looked at him in disbelief. Soi voiced the question for me: "What do you mean, 'no'?! That's very rude."

Tomo snorted, but turned to me to give his serious reply. "No, they don't look as good on you as they did on the display… they look better. In the store, they were just jewelry. Now they look… alive."

[Mareu thinks about the ethics of theft as revenge. They go back to the palace, Soi leaves them to attend to her duties, and Tomo and Mareu say good night in front of Mareu's door.]

"Oh, Tomo, could I ask one favor of you?" I gave him a persuasive I'm-so-sweet-and-cute,-don't-you-just-want-to-do-anything-I-ask? look. Was I flirting with him? Well not realllly…

He regarded me with wary surprise. "What exactly would you like me to do?" he asked, politely for him but still skeptically.

"Well you see, I've never been much of a morning person, normally I have an alarm clock, but obviously they don't exist here, and left to my own devices I would probably sleep until noon, so… would you mind waking me up in the morning when you get up? I'll lend you the key…" Okay, so maybe I was flirting with him; my subconscious seemed to have decided it wanted him, and simply neglected to inform my conscious mind of this fact.

I still didn't know a whole lot about him, but everything that I'd seen, I liked. Even that crazy make-up… hell, not only have I gone out with goth bois in whiteface and eyeliner before, I've volunteered my art skills to do face painting for Halloween and body painting for parties and sports games lots of times; good body art like tribal tattoos are one of my minor fetishes, I suppose. And speaking of fetishes, he had such gorgeous long hair… And for some reason I found it terribly flattering that he was willing to shoplift for me, morally twisted though that thought was…

Mentally I shrugged, and thought, _What the hell; this could be the start of something beautiful! Not to mention fun!_ Then I put on one of my sexiest smiles and held out the key: not between my fingertips, but on the palm of my hand, so he would have to touch me to pick it up. Mwahaha I'm so devious!

Tomo studied me for a moment, his expression suggesting that he had caught the flirty subtext there, but doubted whether I meant it or he was just reading too much into my request. He was clearly tempted, though. He stretched out one elegant hand towards mine, hesitated a moment, then plucked the key from my palm, brushing me with long red nails and soft white fingertips in the process. He retreated back a step to a safer, more 'correct' distance, and tried to cover up his earlier hesitation by stating brusquely, "I will awaken you, then. Goodnight, Mareu."

I gave him a softer smile. "Goodnight Tomo." I thought a moment, then mischievously added, "Sweet dreams!" and backed into my room, closing the door behind me. I flipped the lock, and immediately felt comforted to be able to shut out this weird world for a few restful hours. Sure it was an adventure, but I had definitely had my fill of the new and different for the day. Grinning to myself I kicked my sneakers and socks off, then lowered myself into the friendly looking armchair with an appreciative "Uhhh…" as my tired muscles rejoiced at having the opportunity to relax.

I let my eyes close and just rested for a few moments. Then my curiosity reviving and bringing back some of my energy with it, I opened my eyes and looked at the contents of my room. Desk, bed, hey, who the _hell_'s that guy in the…?! Oh. In the _mirror_. I smacked myself in the forehead. _Riiiight._ I took a few deep breaths to get rid of my slight panic at seeing someone else in my room. Once I had regained my mental centering I chuckled at myself a little, then got up to study my new reflection.

Hmm. Well, all the colors were the same: green eyes, golden-blond hair, light golden skin. As always, I felt lucky for the attractive coloration, face, and figure nature had given me, although the face and figure were now attractive in a bit different way than they had been before. My face hadn't changed that much, but my jaw was definitely broader and more masculine. The most noticeable changes, though, were in my body. I was even taller than I usually was; I had always been tall for a girl at 5' 11", but now I towered over _everyone_ at 6' 4". Well, everyone but Nakago. Why the heck did he look just like me anyway?

Having no ground from which to even begin guessing about that, I pushed the idea to the back of my mind and continued my inventory. My shoulders were broader, my hips narrower, my muscles a little more obvious, though I still wasn't really built because I never did anything more strenuous than carry art supplies up the stairs to my dorm room.

That thought prompted me that if I really wanted to get to know this body, clothes were going to get in the way. My hand went automatically to the buttons of my shirt and popped two of them open before I paused, surprised. Surprised to realize that I wasn't nervous, or particularly aroused; I was just matter-of-factly getting undressed. I pondered this and realized: male or not, it's still _my_ body. The bones and flesh were my home, the skin my clothing, the limbs and digits my trusty tools. Like a car with an antique kit applied to it, it looked very different but it handled just the same.

Maybe my hands were a little larger now, but I could feel the sense-memory of holding a paintbrush, and I knew these hands would draw the same fine lines the others had. Maybe my feet were bigger and my legs longer, but I hadn't been tripping over things today. My bountiful bosom had vanished and my hips had narrowed, but I wasn't off balance, and my usual stride was a comfortable as ever. It was strange, really; had I ever thought about it I would have assumed it felt different to wear a male body, but apparently my brain stem knew perfectly well how to drive it. Huh, maybe men and women were even more similar than I had always thought. I shrugged one shoulder and resumed removing my clothing.

Doffing my shirt and pants, I reached the level of undress I had had at the tailor's. _Ah,_ I thought, surveying the man in the mirror, _so this is what Tomo's gaze was so riveted by._ It was a nice enough view. Not my type, I liked the slender ones, the ones like Tomo and Soi… but nice. "Hey, I'm hot, I'd do me." I quoted, chuckling madly, from one of my favorite books on the psychology of being bisexual.

Oh well, only the boxers left now… time to finally get a look at the _really_ different bits. I gathered up my courage and slid my boxers off. And looked down.

Oh. Oh, now that… that was interesting. Not what it looked like, though it was a pretty enough dick, but what it _felt_ like as I watched it rise and stiffen. Oooh, cool! I was reminded of the first time a guy let me play with his anatomy and get a good look at it – I had blown on his balls and giggled in childish delight as they scrunched up like some furry amoeba. Older and wiser now, I wasn't surprised by what my anatomy did, but I was fascinated to be able to feel it from the inside while I watched the outside.

I was uncut, which made sense on a variety of levels – my female body had never had anything like that done to it, and it wasn't something Chinese culture did… er, I thought not anyway. I'd never really researched which cultures did circumcision and which didn't. Either way I was happy, because this way I would get the whole male experience, not miss out on what it would be like to have a foreskin. I was reasonably big too – at least 7 inches, maybe 8 if I were really damn hard.

[Imagine a masturbation lemon here]


	5. Fun With Facepaint

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 4 – Fun With Facepaint

In the morning Tomo arose and put on his dressing gown. He gave his hair its daily 100 brush strokes, then separated out the two forelocks and threaded one blue and one gold bead onto each. He reached for the white foundation to begin applying his mask, then suddenly remembered that he was supposed to wake Mareu up. The question was, how should he do it? Safely concealed behind his paint and costume? Or… should he go over there bare-faced and in his dressing-gown in hopes of catching Mareu's eye?

Tomo wasn't stupid – he knew almost no one would try to guess at what he looked like beneath the makeup. That was half the reason he had donned the costume in the first place, because a pretty teenage boy wandering around war-torn Kotou was the target of far too many unpleasant eyes, eyes of slavers, rapists, even women could be trouble if they decided they wanted you. The Jing costume was his armor, and he was understandably hesitant to let anyone see him without it. But that armor suddenly became burdensome when he _wanted_ someone to pay attention to him for once. Tomo agonized over the decision for a moment, but then let his heart (or whatever ;) ) make up his mind for him. Picking up Shin he wrapped an illusion of invisibility around himself and stepped out the door.

Tomo knocked on Mareu's door just in case he had already awakened despite his claims to never wake up before noon without outside interference. There was no answer, so Tomo eased the door open and went in, carefully closing the door again behind him. Mareu hadn't drawn the bed-curtains, so Tomo could see him immediately: he was curled up not in the middle of the bed, but on the near side, as if he was used to having someone occupying the other half of the bed. Mareu had his fist curled into the blanket, pulling it right up against his chin and hiding everything below, so he was a cute, but not very mesmerizing sight. His long sunshine-colored hair was unbound and fanned across the pillow, and with his eyes closed he really was the spitting image of Nakago. Tomo remembered his illusion of invisibility and released it, then took a deep breath, preparing to wake Mareu up.

"Mareu. Wake up Mareu." I groaned and huddled farther down under the covers. _Too early, ugh… _Then my brain woke up a little and I thought _'Mareu'? That's an odd way to pronounce my name – who's calling me that?_ I pulled the sheets down far enough that they weren't blocking my vision and peeled my eyes open. I found myself blinking at very beautiful oriental man with long silvery-black hair, pale skin, and metallic yellow eyes. _Ooh, pretty! Who…?_

"…Tomo?" Without thinking about it I reached out to turn his face so I could look at it better, but he jerked his face away from my hand. I blinked in sleepy puzzlement, then retracted my hand and mumbled, "Sorry, I'm still half-asleep…" I sat up, yawned, and scrubbed at my face with my hands. When I ventured to look at him again he looked regretful, maybe for pulling away from me. "Lemme try that again. Good morning Tomo, thank you for waking me up." I smiled tentatively.

He sighed. "I didn't intend… not letting people touch me is an old ingrained habit, not something I do on purpose."

[Mareu tosses some clothes on and follows Tomo back to his room.]

"Have you ever considered something different?"

"Excuse me?"

"A different design?" I gestured to his face. "Something with more curves… It would be easier to show you than explain. You could wash it right back off if you didn't like it! So… could I?" I looked at him with puppy-dog eyes.

It was much easier to read his expression when his face was bare. Wide, wide golden eyes spoke to me of confusion, then startlement and trepidation when he realized what I was asking. Then, as he considered the idea, slightly parted lips betrayed excitement and a blush revealed embarrassment. I held his gaze and tried to look appealing, and after a long moment he slowly nodded.

"Really?" I breathed. He looked so kawaii blushing like that that I would have kissed him right then if I hadn't been afraid of scaring him away.

He nodded again, more firmly this time. "Hai. Maybe it's a good day for… something different."

"Yatta!" I grinned like a little kid with candy. "Allright, sit there, and let's make some art!" I turned the chair in front of the vanity around (so he couldn't peek in the mirror until I was done ^_^ ) and motioned for him to sit down. I pulled up another chair for myself, then started looking through the makeup supplies on the vanity table. The stack of clean-up rags was obvious, and the jars of color Tomo normally used, but I was hoping there would be… Aha! Kohl! (Otherwise known as antimony sulfide, or Cleopatra eye stuff.) I picked up the little jar of satiny black cream and the bone stylus used to apply it, and sat down. I reached for his face, slowly, so he wouldn't flinch away, and he let me touch him. I cradled his jaw and angled his face the way I wanted it – I could feel his pulse fluttering quickly beneath my fingers… 

"Eyes closed please!" I commanded cheerily. As I made the first few strokes of my masterpiece I found myself quietly humming Building a Mystery by Sarah McLachlin. I outlined his eyes, making them even more mysterious and cat-like than they already were.

"Okay, eyes open!" His eyelashes fluttered open and he nervously licked his lips.

"Ooh, I like!" I purred. I made two little touch-ups and his eyes were perfect. "Which of these blacks would be better for on your lips?"

"The kohl, it's the only one that's waterproof."

"K, say 'aaah'." I colored his lips jet black. Ooh, gothic! I considered applying his usual white underlayer to complete the look, but he had such a creamy pale skin tone I decided to leave it be. Also I was afraid it had lead or mercury in it, a lot of those antique cosmetics were very poisonous. The kohl at least I knew was safe. "Okay, that's the basics. Now the interesting part! The purpose of the mask is to be intimidating and conceal your facial expressions, yes?"

He blinked, surprised at my insight. "Hai, more or less."

"Ok, so my drawing needs to cover most of your face. Hmm…" I put my tongue between my teeth in concentration. Then I wiped most of the kohl off of the stylus, leaving just enough to sketch with.

I began by outlining a pair of draconic eyes in the center of Tomo's forehead, mimicking the shape of his eyes. Then I added long trailing whiskers that echoed the wave of the feathers he usually wore in his hair. Grinning fangs, snarling mouth, broad forehead, waving mane and beard… I quickly outlined the remaining details of the face.

Now I had to make the most difficult decision: how to arrange the dragon's sinuous body to best complement the lines and angles of Tomo's face. Figure 8, with one loop over each cheek? No. Serpentine with the tip of the tail looped once around his neck, the tuft at its tip right at the hollow of his throat, like the pendant on a choker? Hell yeah! I grinned, dipped my stylus to get more kohl on it, and started sketching out sensual curves.

Gorgeous… Now I just needed colors. Since the dragon was nominally Seiryuu, I supposed it ought to be blue and green. And the eyes should be yellow like Tomo's, and the whiskers white to match the feathers, just a little white paint wouldn't hurt…

"Tomo, are there any colors you particularly do or don't want me to use?"

"They're supposed to be chosen for their symbolism."

I blinked. "Oh, I didn't know this was a symbolic color system. What do the colors mean?"

Tomo drew a breath and recited a poem about the meanings of the various colors. "White is for evil, black or violet is for loyalty, blue is for cunning, green is for spontaneity, yellow is for brutishness, orange is for ?, red is for courage, and silver and gold are for divinity." I could see the memories in his eyes.

I blinked and sat back, stymied. Tomo was such a controlled person that green was definitely not his color. But what could I use instead? I frowned in concentration.

"What?" demanded Tomo, with a mixture of suspicion and anxiety.

"Huh? Oh, it's just that that system's so backwards that I have to redesign my whole color scheme.

"Backwards?" he sounded a bit offended.

"Well," I said placatingly, "it's just different from what I'm used to. In America white is for purity, innocence, truth, and simplicity; black is for silence, secretiveness, and evil; red is for anger and passion; blue is for sadness and loyalty; yellow is for energy and happiness; green is for nature and health; orange is for jealousy and over-excitement; and purple is for nobility, friendship, and playfulness."

"That _is_ backwards. White for _purity_? What an odd idea."

"Heh. Anyway, I was going to use green for one of my main colors because it's one of Seiryuu's colors, but impulsiveness doesn't go with you, right? So I'll have to use something different."

"Yes, green is not… I don't wear green."

Hmm. I was still going to use yellow for the dragon's eyes, no matter what it meant. But that was just an accent color, what should I use for the main colors? I discarded one color scheme after another, then suddenly I knew exactly what to do. I grinned. I set down the kohl stylus, picked up a brush, and dipped it in the purple.

Fifteen minutes later I applied the last stroke of yellow to the tail, then sat back and scrutinized my work. Every color bright and true, every shape dynamic, every line in its place, the design harmonizing with its human canvas… I permitted a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin to spread slowly across my face.

"Beautiful…" The sudden blush that flooded Tomo's cheeks made me realize I'd murmured my thought aloud. Oopsie… I cleared my throat. "It's done, you can look in the mirror now."

He turned to look in the mirror. I gazed over his shoulder at his reflection, watching his expression hopefully. He looked startled. He moved as if to touch his face, but stopped, knowing from long habit that you _don't_ touch the paint because it will smear. He lowered his head and opted instead to crane his neck so he could see the heart-shaped tip of the dragon's tail adorning the hollow of his throat. A small smile curved his lips and lit his eyes.

"Like it?" I asked with quiet hope.

His smile got a little wider, and he nodded slowly. "Hai. You were right… it is beautiful. You are truly a skilled artist."

I gave him a big smile. "Thank you for saying so. And for lending me such a fine canvas to work with." I picked up a cloth and started cleaning the stray smears of paint off of my fingers, so I would have somewhere to look other than him. "The work can only be as attractive as its canvas, you know."

My hands were clean, so I had to put the cloth down and look at him again. He was just gazing at me, black lips slightly parted and glistening, skin lightly flushed with arousal where it showed between the purple coils, and fearful hope in his eyes. Instinctively I started to step forward with the intention of leaning in for a kiss, but I was abruptly brought up short by the realization: Bakayarou! I can't kiss him now, I'll ruin the paint! Doh… I can't even kiss him in a spot where there's no paint because he's so pretty and he wants it so bad that if I start anything odds are 5 to 1 that we'll end up in that bed rather than going to breakfast.

So, I couldn't kiss him, but I had to do something – I didn't want his shyness to have a chance to convince him that I wasn't interested after all. Something simple… I stepped closer to him, and he immediately locked gazes with me. I reached out (slowly) and picked up one of his beaded locks of hair, toying with it. "Ne, Tomo…"

"H-hai?" He winced at the waver in his voice and looked down in embarrassment. I trailed the end of the lock of hair along his collarbone, and suddenly I had his undivided attention again.

"Ne, will you give me a tour of the gardens today, after breakfast? I would really like it…"

"Hai, of course, I'd be glad to." He gave me a soft, shy smile and I grinned back.

"Excellent! I'm gonna go finish getting ready for the day, then I'll meet you in the hall to go to breakfast, ok?"

"Okay."

***

Tomo found that he couldn't put his crown on because the paint went up too high on his forehead. This stirred up his general anxiety about making this kind of a change in his costume, but he shrugged the feeling off, focusing on how the dragon managed to make him look intimidating and genki at the same time, and on the fact that Mareu's fingers had put the dragon there.

Tomo tied his hair up into an approximation of how the crown would hold it. He pulled the pheasant feathers out of the clips that held them in the crown and tucked them through the ties holding his hair instead. Then he donned his jacket and boots, making his outfit as complete as it was going to get today.

Mareu was not in the hallway yet, so Tomo wandered over to the window at the end of the hallway to wait. The window was one of Tomo's favorite places to lean and contemplate the parade of illusions that was life. Soi liked to stand at the window too. The two of them had a kind of unspoken agreement that they would not fight there, and, although neither acknowledged it, this made the place more precious to both of them. It was the only place either of them had any semblance of a friend – until Mareu came.

Mareu… Tomo had only known the man for 24 hours, yet he was ready to throw himself at Mareu's feet and beg for affection. He looked so damn much like Nakago, yet he was so kind, and when he had touched Tomo, actually, unbelievably, caressed him, whatever small amount of resistance Tomo had felt to begin with had been blown away. Tomo didn't know how to fall out of love with Nakago, or whether he even wanted to, but Tomo _knew_ he wanted Mareu. Wanted him so bad it reminded him of the first time he had seen Nakago, before his spirit had been worn down by repeated rejection.

Soi finished dressing and arranging her hair. She stretched languidly one last time, then headed out into the hall. She glanced around to see if anyone else was heading for breakfast and spotted Tomo standing with his back to her, staring out the window… and he was mysteriously sans headdress. Curious, Soi decided to approach, to investigate and amuse herself with bothering him.

She sauntered casually over to the window and looked out, then glanced over at Tomo… and gasped.

"Hello Soi." He sighed, and let the silence stretch out for a moment. 

"…Well, what do you think? Since I know you're going to tell me anyway…" Tomo turned his face fully towards her so she could see the dragon properly.

Soi cocked her head and examined the dragon. "Well… it's definitely an improvement. I didn't know you were such an artist."

Tomo snorted. "I'm only an artist of illusions. Mareu drew this."

Soi's eyes widened. "Mareu drew it… on a piece of paper for you to copy? Or…"

"Iie." Tomo smiled for the first time in the conversation. "Mareu drew it on me."

Soi gave a low whistle of amazement. "How did you talk him into that?"

"Actually, he asked if he could." Tomo chuckled. "And when I told him yes, he went 'Yatta!'" Tomo shook his head in amazement. 

"He's so utterly opposite from Nakago…"

"Hn. I don't know how to think about the two of them, it's confusing."

"Very confusing… but I've decided that if I can have Mareu, I'll take him."

"You think he's gay? I suppose that would make sense, since he used to be a woman. But I kind of got the impression that he was enjoying watching me yesterday, so I don't know…" She met Tomo's glare and shrugged. "We could always just ask him."

"Don't you dare! If you do that he'll think you're interested in him!"

"Who says I'm not? But I'm being _nice_ and letting you have the first shot at him. Anyway, if you don't want me to ask him, why don't you ask him?"

"Because I'm trying to be _tactful_, an art _you_ clearly know nothing about, and…"

Soi cut him off, "And because you'd never be able to scrape up the courage to do it."

Tomo fumed, but being rather intensely aware that this was true he could think of no other retort than to fall back on their standard exchange of insults.

"Bitch!"

"Coward!"

"Whore!"

"Freak!"

"Eel!"

"Hentai!"

I had caught the noise, but not the words, of the beginning of their argument as I stood in front of my mirror pulling my hair up into a cute cheerleader ponytail. Then I had emerged from my room in time to actually hear most of this last exchange. I regarded the pair with amusement, cocking my head and putting my hands on my hips. When they didn't notice me or my posing, I cleared my throat to catch their attention. They spun to face me, Soi looking annoyed and Tomo looking shame-faced. "Children, children!" I tsked at them, "Didn't you already have this conversation yesterday?"

"I'm not a child!" growled Soi.

I blinked. "What, you want me to talk to you like an adult? Fine: 'I realize that a ritualized exchange of insults can be a useful way of delineating and reinforcing pecking order in a social hierarchy, particularly in the face of a destabilizing event such as my arrival; however, there are other methods that are less emotionally damaging and more constructive, and the two of you are smart enough to figure out a better way to negotiate your relationship.' Happy, Soi-the-adult?"

Neither Soi nor Tomo were prepared to admit that they weren't entirely sure what I had just said, so Tomo remained silent and Soi grudgingly said, "Yeah, fine."

"So what were you two arguing about anyway? Don't you like my dragon Soi?" My quick switch from professorial mode to eager child threw her for a moment.

"Uh, no actually, I do like it."

"Oh good! I'm pleased at how well it came out since the paint and brushes are a bit different from what I'm used to working with. A new medium is always an interesting challenge." I smiled at Tomo. "But if you weren't arguing about that, what were you arguing about?"

"Oh, we were just wondering…" began Soi arily. Tomo gave her a glare of death. "We were just wondering what was for breakfast today." Tomo facefaulted, then relaxed; that was obviously not what he had been expecting Soi to say. I decided that it would be more strategic to be friendly than to challenge them.

"_Surrre_ you were." I chuckled. "But I am hungry, so why don't we go find out."

* * *

Chattering amicably, we sat down at the breakfast table, helping ourselves to the contents of the table. I managed to identify rice, fried egg, and chicken broth, then shrugged and decided to just try a little of everything.

"Absolutely not." said Nakago flatly.

"Eh?" I blinked to find Nakago's denial directed not at Tomo's new look, but at me.

"People are going to mistake you for me and I will not have you fouling up my carefully cultivated image by walking around with your hair like that. I don't care if you're gayer than Tomo is, you can not go around wearing your hair like a girl."

I blink-blinked at him. "Okaaay, One: I was trying _not_ to look like you because I realize I should avoid causing you image problems. Two, it's ok for guys to wear this hairstyle where I come from," well sort of… "but if it isn't here I'll wear it some other way. And three, if you're going to comment on my sexuality you should at least be accurate about it – I'm not gay, I'm bi." I reached up and pulled the tie out of my hair, shaking it loose. Nakago had an odd look on his face, like gears were turning in his head – maybe he was bi too? I made a note to ask Tomo later. I figured it would be too obvious to throw Tomo a smile at this point, so I just smiled to myself and concentrated on eating breakfast.

Then the twins entered. The first thing out of Suboshi's mouth was a jibe he obviously had thought of yesterday and been dying to try out since then: "So Nakago, how do you like having a twin?"

Nakago glared at him, working his jaw, for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak. I quickly jumped in and spoke at the same time:

"Mareu is _not_ my twin."

"Nakago is _not_ my twin." Nakago glared at me, I looked innocent, and everyone else burst into giggles.


	6. Roses And Hearts And Lemons, Oh My!

If you haven't read this very intelligent Tomo essay:  
  
then you should! ^_^  
o_O (teaing out hair...) Does anyone know why I can't get a url to appear here? Does ff.net's uploader strip them out or something? Anyway for the brute force method, convert [frontslash] to / :  
mitsukake.com[frontslash]aoiryuu[frontslash]fanfic[frontslash]seiryuu[frontslash]tomoessay.html

Please leave a comment if you know what the problem here is.

  
  


FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc. There is discussion of rape and abuse in this chapter, but none happens (or will in the rest of the fic). Angst, sap... there's a lemon scene if you follow the link to read it.

  
  


  
  


Facepaint 

by Sunandshadow

  
  


Chapter 5 – Roses And Hearts And Lemons, Oh My!

  
  


  
  


It was autumn, and the garden was mostly fallen leaves and muddy ground, but there were still a few flowers. I crouched down to admire a rose, and Tomo lounged against a nearby tree trunk, watching me with one eyebrow raised. I love the scent of roses. I read somewhere that rose musk contains a substance like women's pheromones, so that's why they're associated with love, and why they've been so popular throughout history, especially with guys.

  
  


"Do you like roses?" I asked Tomo languidly.

  
  


He shrugged. "They're ok."

  
  


"I've always liked roses. I keep one in a pot in my room at school, a pink one. I like the other colors better, but the pink ones always seem to smell the best. …I wonder what will happen in that world when they notice I'm gone? I hope my family doesn't worry too much…" I stood up and walked over to join him, and we sat down on a nearby bench.

  
  


"You were still in school? Mareu, how old are you_?" You still have a family that cares about you?_ marveled Tomo. _Maybe that's why you're so open and cheerful…_

  
  


"I'm 21. That's the same age most people in my world finally finish school and become actual adults. It's very different there than here; because our technology level is so much higher there are more things to learn, and people have to stay in school to learn them. It's a little too long and hard for most people, and I was really starting to get worn down by it all…" Yeah, massive understatement – I was failing 2 classes and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, possibly I had gone off the deep end and was hallucinating all this… "this is a nice change. I like it here. Although I wish Seiryuu would have let me pack…"

  
  


"I'm 21; I can't imagine that… still being in school, having a family…"

  
  


I blink-blinked at him and the loneliness in his voice. "You… don't have…?"

  
  


He shook his head, not looking at me. "None of the seishi do, except you."

  
  


"…oh. Wow, harsh… Can I… ask what happened? I mean, you don't have to say if you don't want to, but…"

  
  


"Iie, it's ok. I don't miss my real parents because I never knew them. The man I think of as my father adopted me and started training me to be in the opera… I loved him, but he was killed when I was six. Most of the boys in the acting troop were orphans or had been sold by their parents. I was no different until I discovered I was Tomo and started learning how my powers worked. I was the star of our troop," there was real pride and almost a smile in his voice, "when we came to the palace when I was fifteen. I stepped forward to claim my place as a sei and suddenly I was a real army officer rather than just playing the part of one…" He let his voice trail off, and I realized he didn't feel like commenting on his life after that point. I wondered if he had had anyone to love him in all that time… my heart went out to him.

  
  


"I can picture you as the star. I would have liked to see you perform."

  
  


Tomo studied me. He started to say something, changed his mind, then finally asked, "What is your family like?"

  
  


"Oh, boringly normal. Mother and father, sister four years younger than me, and brother thirteen years younger than me. Oh, and five sets of aunts and uncles and twelve cousins, three of whom already have children of their own." I chuckled. "We all have different priorities and ways of looking at the universe, so we don't get along that well, but it's easier to be nice when I only see them a few times a year, on vacations from school. If I had to actually live with them I would lose my mind, I have to hide so much of who I am from them to avoid getting into fights… you know, for never having been on stage I've spent a lot of my time acting." I chuckled. "At any rate, you're not missing out on anything wonderful. I'd rather have a few friends and lovers that I can be myself with any day."

  
  


"You think it's ever safe to really be yourself? Completely, not just more than usual? I find it unlikely."

  
  


"Sometimes it's safe. It _is_ dangerous. There's maybe one person out of a thousand who won't hurt you if you let all your shields down, leave yourself completely open. Not that they all want to hurt you, it's just that most people never reach a high enough stage of adulthood that they can refrain from asking painful things of you. Either they ask for you to be something you can't, or they ask you to hide something you are because they can't deal with it. And then if you do find someone safe, you have to try to keep them, against the forces of entropy, against society, even against economics. Or if you're really lucky… if you're phenomenally lucky, _they'll_ offer to keep _you_."

  
  


"Hmmm." Tomo considered the possibility skeptically

  
  


I shrugged one shoulder. I had bared my soul as much as I was comfortable with, so I changed the subject. "So, what about the other seishi's families?"

  
  


"Nakago's parents were killed in the genocide of the hins, when he was about six, soldiers brought him back and he ended up in the emperor's harem for a while. The twins' parents were killed when the imperial army quelled an uprising along the Konan border, where their farm was. Soi's father sold her into prostitution when she was about twelve. Ashitare was an exhibit in a freak show until Nakago bought him from them. And Yui… she managed to get raped as soon as she arrived in this kingdom." Tomo's voice had been even and emotionless throughout this recital, a feat that testified to his real acting ability.

  
  


My eyes had been getting progressively wider as he went along. "…Damn." I shook my head slowly. Every maternal and empathetic bone in my body was demanding I go hug all of them, while the rational part of my mind was calmly reminding me that every one of them (except possibly Yui) was perfectly capable of killing me if I laid an unwanted hand on them. I drew my knees up to my chest and hugged them.

  
  


Tomo eyed me with surprise and a smidgen of what seemed to be genuine worry. "Mareu? Are you alright?"

  
  


"You just told me every member of what I've been considering my new family has been badly mistreated by life; I'm having a sympathy attack and reminding myself that it would be foolish to run around and hug them all. Foolish verging on suicidal, in some cases."

  
  


"They'll all survive, I'm sure. Even Yui – she tried to slit her wrist right after she found out, but she's used to the idea now. Eventually she'll figure out, like the rest of us, that the past is little more than an illusion: once it happens it's gone. You can't touch it and it can't touch you, unless you foolishly bring it to life again in your mind."

  
  


"I know that's true, but… just because the wound is forgotten, doesn't mean it's healed. It's my nature to try to heal others' hearts…"

  
  


[Remember the translating spell that lets everyone who enters the book speak Chinese? Well, when Mareu said 'hearts' Tomo heard 'kokoro', the word of Nakago's seishi symbol. Hmm…]

  
  


Looking concerned and perplexed, Tomo leaned toward me so that he could study me better. "But you cannot heal someone else's heart. A heart that's endured that kind of injury can never return to what it used to be."

  
  


"No, but it can grow in a new direction. Do you know what I mean? The pieces of heart can get rearranged into a new, strong shape. And I can help with that, if people would let me."

  
  


"How can you possibly help fix someone else's heart?"

  
  


"Well, what happens is, when someone's heart gets ripped up, they panic and get real tense, wrap armor around the pieces to hold them in what used to be the right shape, but the broken edges rub each other and it just hurts them… but usually, if you can get the person to relax, the pieces will naturally realign themselves in a good way. Sometimes they need a good nudge, but relaxation is the most important thing. And I'm good at getting people to relax." I started to smile again as the innuendo occurred to me, "One might say I have good bedside manner."

  
  


It was subtle, but I saw his whole manner change; eyes a little brighter, flushed skin visible between the dragon's coils, the beginning of a smirk curving his wet black lips. "Feh. You're certainly cocky." he said archly.

  
  


I snickered. "You can't say that, you haven't seen it yet!"

  
  


His eyes widened slightly, then narrowed again in suspicion. "Yet? …You're teasing me."

  
  


Ch', so touchy… or perhaps responsive was a better word. Hehehe. I couldn't resist the temptation to needle him a little more. "It's called foreplay. Most people like a little."

  
  


His eyes narrowed, then he turned his face away from me. "But you have no intention to follow through on it."

  
  


I blinked. "I don't? When did I change my mind? Last I knew I had every intention of ravishing you… with your permission, of course." Maybe a complement and a poetic phrase would have been better just now, but it's hard not to pick up on Tomo's acidic banter and respond in kind. Then again, maybe poetry would just have reinforced his idea that I was being fake…

  
  


He had turned his face back toward me and was looking at me, expression impassive except for the suspicion and uncertainty in his eyes.

  
  


I tipped my head to the side and looked at him in puzzlement. "You don't believe me?"

  
  


"Prove it."

  
  


I grinned my feral hentai grin. "Oh, it will be my _pleasure_. This evening?"

  
  


He studied me for another long moment, then slowly nodded. "This evening then."

  
  


It wasn't enough. I studied him for a moment, while he held my gaze defiantly. Then I knew what to do – I reached out, slowly, so as not to startle him, and gently placed two fingertips where the white underside of his wrist beckoned temptingly within the cuff of his sleeve. I slid my hand gently down the soft underside of his arm, over the delicate vein that showed sapphire through his alabaster skin, and under his palm, lifting his hand into mine and stroking the center of his palm with my knuckle. He involuntarily drew in a quick breath, and I smiled at him. Then I lifted his hand to my mouth and kissed his palm. Looking into his eyes, I murmured across his palm, "I would kiss you properly, to seal the agreement, but I wouldn't want to smear your paint, would I?" And I winked at him. Never let it be said that Mareu is not an accomplished flirt, whatever gender body I happen to be in, whatever gender the object of my affection. He needed the reassurance, so I was pleased to give it to him.

  
  


"Mareu..." he breathed, in a voice that held agony and ecstasy. Oh yes, he would walk through fire for me now. Now all I had to do was carefully break the tension without giving him cause to flinch away again...

  
  


I sighed wistfully. "I suppose that work must come before play though... I really ought to figure out what my seishi power is... Will you help?"

  
  


He nodded over-enthusiastically, and I grinned. Oh yes. He was mine now – hook, line, and sinker.

  
  


"So... what do you think I should do first?"

  
  


* * *

  
  


To read the next scene, which is rated NC-17, go to:  
Same problem as above. Brute force solution:  
members.cox.net[frontslash]wickeddelight[frontslash]writingsamples[frontslash]facepaint05b.htm

  
  



	7. Dreamers, Lucid And Otherwise

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

AN: Sunandshadow throws confetti! I've been going nuts because I really want to finish this story but first I had no inspiration, and then I had an inspiration for a completely different Tomo/Mareu story... and then finally yesterday I figured out how to combine the two and use that inspiration to help finish this story! Throws more confetti! So look froward to actual never-before-published chapters starting with this one! ^_^

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 6 – Dreamers, Lucid and Otherwise

Tomo woke with a smile on his lips. Thoughts still cluttered with dream fragments, he wasn't sure exactly what he was smiling about, but he had the definite but vague impression that today was going to be a good day. And oh! the bed was nice and warm this morning despite the rain he could hear drizzling on the roof! He smiled wider and lazily arched back against warm skin… wait, skin?! His amber eyes were suddenly wide open, and he twisted serpent-like beneath the heavy arm draped over his waist until he could see the owner of the warm, broad chest he had apparently been sleeping against. And was utterly disconcerted to see blond hair and a face that was as familiar to him as his own painted mask, and which he had resigned himself never to see gracing one of his pillows. N-nakago!?! No wait, wait. Not Nakago, Mareu. Green eyes hidden beneath the golden lashes. Mareu. Tomo let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and his muscles released the tension they couldn't sustain while they were still half-asleep.

"Mareu…" Tomo murmured the name quietly to himself in a sleep-husky morning voice, just contemplating what it meant that Mareu was here in his bed. Was he disappointed that it wasn't Nakago he was waking up to? he asked himself. Well… no, actually. His most palpable emotion was relief. Nakago was slightly beyond Tomo's ability to deal with even when he was poised and alert; having to face Nakago while half-asleep was a positively frightening concept. Not that he wouldn't have jumped at the chance a year ago, but behind his jing act Tomo was naturally a cautious man… all right, timid and shy if he admitted it. And the desperate courage engendered by unrequited love had slowly worn away over the years of rejection.

Tomo was used to being a little afraid of Nakago, but usually it just added spice to the man's attractiveness; now most of the attraction belonged to Mareu, and Tomo was surprised to discover that he really was afraid of Nakago. Afraid and… angry. Angry at his rejection, disdain, neglect, of Tomo himself but also the other seishi. However, all that was a distant problem, pushed to the peripheries of Tomo's thoughts by his slightly delayed realization that _he was in bed with Mareu_.

This was definitely A Good Thing. Tomo focused once more on the sensations he had shut out during his little panic attack. Warmth, the soothing patter of rain, Mareu's welcoming scent and slow gentle breathing… Without thinking about it Tomo instinctively relaxed into the other man's sleeping embrace, cuddling up against that pale golden chest and nuzzling his groin against a warm thigh. (…something he'd never dare do with Nakago, commented a little thread of thought which Tomo assiduously ignored.) Amazement welled up in Tomo's chest as it occurred to him that this was the most comfortable he'd ever felt.

Mareu was a puzzle. He came from Yui's world where he had been a woman, yet he had adapted to being a man easily and so thoroughly that he had not had had any difficulty acting a male sexual role. And doing so with quite a bit of talent, thought Tomo, flushing slightly with remembered passion. Mareu did not think it unusual that Tomo was attracted to other males; the blond had even stated non-chalantly that he appreciated both sexes. Mareu did not think it odd that Tomo wore an opera costume; the man had applied Tomo's paint himself. Mareu was still a student, had a living family, healed hearts, painted dragons, grew roses… and made love to Tomo. For whatever mysterious reason, but with apparent attraction and enjoyment. Tomo mentally shook his head in bafflement (but was too cozy to actually move).

Not just fucked, which Tomo had done often enough as an actor, but made love to. Had both offered him the dominant position and permitted him the submissive position. Had kissed him breathless, compared his hair to moonlight, taken him in that hot wonderful mouth… And this when they had only known each other for a few days? The situation was beyond improbable… and all the more delicious for its unlikeliness. Tomo's smile blossomed into a little smirk at that thought. Even two days ago when Mareu had been measured by the tailor, when Tomo had surreptitiously, hungrily eyed Mareu's gorgeous broad shoulders and chest wrapped with mouth-watering muscles and soft golden skin, he had never imagined he'd be waking up couched thereon. Fantasized yes, seriously imagined no. Yet, here he was. Here _they_ were. Nested in the gentle friction of sheets and skin on drowsy skin, the scent of sex in the air, and the rainy morning wrapping everything in cool humidity, bodies fitted together just so, like they were made to be two interlocking halves of one sculpture…

A little more awake and willing to move now, Tomo decided to take advantage of Mareu's slumber to study his… what was Mareu? His prize? No, because Tomo had not really done anything to earn Mareu's favor, not at all like the assorted missions he had undertaken in his attempt to please Na- _I'm not thinking about him, damnit!_ Tomo reminded himself sharply.

No, Mareu was not a prize. His windfall, then? Perhaps… but Mareu was not here in his bed by sheer luck, but by Mareu's own choice, however ineffable his motives. Hmm… Mareu was like… a kirin, perhaps. A unicorn, both innocent and wise, stepping out of some magical forest to look curiously at the odd squalor and violence of the human world.

_My kirin… _thought Tomo.

[More stuff here, transitioning to the rain and a big clap of thunder]

* * *

I was awakened abruptly by a monstrous lightning bolt going off with a CRACK! almost directly overhead, followed closely by a deafening thunderclap. I eeped and instinctively clung to Tomo, and if I could have crawled underneath something to get farther away from the sky, I would have. Even my balls were afraid, trying to hide up inside my body.

Tomo also started at the noise, and grumbled a few choice epithets at Soi and her thunder. Had I not been busy cowering I probably would have been amused at how quickly his expression shifted from annoyance at the storm to smug pleasure at the fact that I was clinging to him. He returned my embrace and murmured, "Don't mind the storm – it happens when Soi has a nightmare, but the noise must have awakened her also, so there shouldn't be any more lightning."

"_Soi_ did that? Jeezus…" I muttered into Tomo's shoulder. "Normally I enjoy storms, but that was a little too close…"

"Heh, that's life with Soi. You'll get used to it." I resisted the temptation to complain that he was enjoying my discomfiture entirely too much, and instead submitted myself to his kissing and petting, letting myself be calmed. Thank goodness I was here being comforted rather than alone in my room hiding under the bed. I let my hands express my gratitude for me, fondling his narrow waist and the angles of his hips, the sweet curve of the small of his back…

As the tension left me I sighed again, this time with contentment. "Mmmm, I could stay here all day."

"You want to?"

I chuckled. "Do you think they would send someone to look for us if we didn't show up at breakfast?"

"Oh probably. Soi or Nakago would send one of the twins to investigate."

"Heh, we should probably spare them the trouble then."

"Spare them the shock, do you mean?" he inquired sarcastically, with perhaps a hint of defensiveness underneath.

"That too. Although, that would be damn funny. I can just picture it: Twin comes down the hall, knocks on the door. 'Tomo, are you in there?' 'Yes, what do _you_ want?' 'Have you seen Mareu? We can't find him.' 'I'm here, what do you need?' Twin blinks in surprise. 'Uh… We just wanted to know why you weren't at breakfast.' 'Because we're busy. We'll be out for lunch.' Someone moans and is shushed. Twin puts two and two together, turns four shades of red, and retreats, scarred for life. Alas, how tragic!" I faked a swoon. Tomo giggled, then broke out into his full whispery laugh. I laughed with him. I like his laugh; it's just so… well… I'm not sure, but I really like it. I wonder if he's ticklish? Then I could get him to laugh more…

"It seems you have plenty of acting ability." Tomo pronounced his evaluation of my little comic routine. "You said you did stage crew and costumes and things, but never acted?"

"Yeah… I considered acting, but in order to get the good parts you usually have to be able to sing and, well, I can't. Also I was an alto, and the interesting female roles are always written for the higher voice parts. Hmm, I suppose I'm a bass now…"

Tomo looked at me in bemusement, having evidently forgotten that I used to be a woman. (Which made sense because I _had_ been trying not to remind him because I _knew_ thinking of me as a girl would bother him, but I had had to mention it to answer his question.) It _would_ be a hard thing to keep in mind if you'd never seen my original form. When you see a tall, broad-shouldered blond man, even one with long hair and a bisienen face, you don't assume that a few years ago he was a teenage girl with a c-cup chest, and before that a tomboy playing with model horses. The thought gave _me_ cognitive dissonance and _I_ was the one living the experience!

To distract Tomo once more from this disconcerting idea, I stretched luxuriously, making my muscles go taut beneath his hands and against his body. This did indeed get his complete attention while neatly emphasizing that I was currently unquestionably masculine. He resumed petting me, slim fingers brushing lightly over the different little angles and curves of my body as he explored me. My eyes went half-lidded, not so much from physical pleasure as from the fact that at the moment he was lavishing one hundred percent of his attention on me and I was the very center of his universe. I like being the center of attention. It goes with my astrological symbol being Leo. With my blond mane, green eyes, and cattish personality I've always identified with lions, even to the extent that I occasionally express my emotions with a purr or a growl. I did so now, to express my perfect contentment: I pressed myself into Tomo's hands and let a purr vibrate the back of my throat.

Tomo's eyes widened in surprise. "How do you do that?"

I smiled lazily. "Oh, I know a lot of neat tricks." Smile expanding to an evil grin I recited:

"I know some good games we could play!" said the cat.   
"I know some new tricks!" said the Cat in the Hat.   
"A lot of good tricks – I will show them to you.   
Your mother will not mind _at all_ if I do."

Tomo regarded me dubiously. "A cat in a _hat_?"

I giggled. "It's a children's story where I come from. A poem actually. There's this magical cat, who wears a hat, out of which he pulls Things in boxes, who fly around on kites and make a big mess... it's very funny. Although I like the one about the Sneetches with and without stars better, it always seemed more relevant to my life. I have most of it memorized – remind me to tell it to you some time."

Suddenly an idea popped into my head. "Hey, I'll teach you how to purr if you tell me what you thought of for your wish yesterday!" I offered impishly.

"Oh that." Tomo smiled teasingly. "As I said, that requires preparation, and more time than we have this morning. Maybe I'll tell you this evening."

"Tease." I chuckled.

"Well… you'd have to trust me, and you really have no reason to." Suddenly I could hear the vulnerability in his voice.

I blinked. "You gonna tie me up?" I guessed. "That's ok with me, that can be fun. 'S long as the ropes aren't too tight. I'll trust you."

Blink blink. "… No, that's not quite what I had in mind… although an interesting idea…" It occurred to Tomo to wonder just how submissive Mareu was. It would be really bizarre if he ended up being the dominant one in a relationship for once.

"Well what _is_ your idea then?" I was seriously itching with curiosity by this point.

Tomo picked up a rather drab little clam shell from the nightstand, and flicked it open, revealing that the inside was much more aesthetically pleasing, pearly and emitting a golden glow. He held the shell in the center of his palm and offered it toward me. Looking me deep in the eyes he said, "What I want is to bring you into one of my illusions."

I looked at the little shell with big hungry eyes, as if it were a coconut custard pie or a new sex toy. Or possibly a coconut custard pie intended for use _as_ a sex toy. _Yum._ "Ooooh. Yesyesyes! Bring me into an illusion! I want to know what that feels like! And also, you've seen my art, at least a little; I would love the chance to see yours."

Tomo looked at me in bemusement, my reaction not at all what he had expected. "Mareu… I'll give you a warning, because you deserve that courtesy. It's more dangerous than you think. Once you're inside, you won't be able to leave without my help. Everything you see, hear, and feel will be under my control. Like in a dream, anything can happen: I could call forth your memories or block them away from you, arrange events so that you are the king of the world or running for your life. Unlike a dream, however, some of the consequences are real. If you die in the illusion, you really die. If you can't take what's going on and your mind shuts down, you go into real catatonia. I certainly don't intend for that to happen, but if I make a mistake… it could." _Hn, this is sounding more and more like virtual reality._

"Tomo… that's like offering opium to an addict and then warning him that it's bad for his health. He's not gonna care. Listen, I make stories and art, that's what I do. I create aesthetic and emotional experiences – isn't that just the same thing your illusions are? Only better, in that they affect all the senses at once? Now, why do you suppose I create my entertainments? It's sure as hell not for the money or the fame, 'cause I don't get much of either! I create them because I crave to be entertained but I've already run the gamut of all the entertainment experiences there are out there. When you've read enough stories and seen enough plays new ones begin to seem like they're just amateurish remixes of the same old elements.

"There are three times in my life when I'm really content – when I'm in a creative fugue, when I'm having sex, and when I'm dreaming. You're offering me all of that rolled into one experience; I don't think I could say no even if I didn't trust you. But I do. I consider all I know about you, and I can find nothing to fear. I choose to trust you. I trust _myself_ to be able to handle anything you can throw at me."

Tomo frowned, and I got to see a little of the haughty edge he normally reserved for Soi and underlings who needed a little bit of a threat to encourage them to do their duties well. "You are overconfident. Everyone can be broken. And you, you're so open – it doesn't seem as if you have _any_ mental defenses, much less strong ones that would keep you sane in a very stressful situation."

"I don't have mental defenses like that because they would clash with the type of coping strategies I use. I have found that rigidity itself is a weakness, and the best strength is that of adaptability. If I had a rigid identity I wouldn't have dealt very well with suddenly finding myself male and stuck in the past in a foreign culture, now would I? 'The river wears away the mountain by flexibility and persistence.'" I quoted his own culture's proverb at him.

"Hmm. That's an interesting thought."

"Yes, isn't it. And why are you arguing with me, anyway? You tell me what you want, and then when I agree you try to talk me out of it? That's silly." I reclined temptingly. "Look, I'm here. I'm willing. Either produce an illusion or tumble me again, but let's do _something_!" I made cute hopeful eyes at him.

"Mareu… I don't understand you at all." he smiled ruefully, draped an arm comfortably over me, and flicked open the shell. I mentally cheered and gave myself a pat on the back for my persuasive skillz.

"Well, feel free to study me some more." I invited suggestively. To myself, however, I thought, _Sometimes examining a thing too closely de-mystifies it and renders it unappealing. _I was not by any means afraid that Tomo would decide I was boring; rather, I had learned the hard way that mystery is an important part of the way _I_ am attracted to people. Following my natural impulse to study a lover until I understood them mind, body, and soul was a recipe for using up my attraction for them. One of the stranger truths of the universe is that desires are intensified by frustration and often better left unsatisfied, and an incomplete story fires the imagination ten times more than a technically superior complete one.

This, not tact, is why I haven't asked Tomo why he wears paint and feathers when he hasn't been an opera performer for six years. I will undoubtedly find out eventually, and when I do I will enjoy the further speculations this bit of information triggers and be glad I hadn't greedily asked for all the information right at the beginning of our relationship. Rationing pleasure is not something that feels natural to me, but in between the scarcity of intelligent, beautiful, available people and the universal human tendency of people to get desensitized to continuous stimuli (i.e. taking your boyfriend/girlfriend for granted), rationing is an effective technique for getting the most pleasure over the greatest period of time out a relationship.

Tomo looked up from the shell he had been concentrating on. "We don't have time to really play with the possibilities – if we had all day I could cause shin to help you tell yourself a story, as if you were dreaming but more vivid. But today I can at least give you a taste of how it works. So, are you ready?" I set my overly-rational thoughts aside and nodded enthusiastically, thrilled to have a chance to taste a completely new experience. Tomo nodded, looked at me in concentration, and… the world disappeared.

.

..

…

….

…..

……and the blackness of total sensory deprivation was suddenly replaced by a room. Thoughts that had stilled into nothing stumbled upright and lurched into motion again. _Where am I? This feels kind of like a dream, but my senses are clearer. Besides, I'm lucid enough to be thinking this and by the time I go lucid in a dream there's usually some plot going on – here there's just nothing. _I turned around to see if there was anything behind me or just more blank room. The swish of the air over my skin drew my attention to the fact that I was naked, but this wasn't terribly alarming because I was often naked in my dreams.

There was indeed nothing behind me, but I saw a flash of purple out of the corner of my eye; turning again I found an indigo fainting couch with a black robe draped over it. I picked up the robe and examined it – it was black silk embroidered with gold dragons, each having a green gem for its eye. Nice. I put the robe on.

There was a knock on the door, so naturally I answered it. And there stood a beautiful young man whom I immediately recognized, even if I coldn't quite place his name... "Oh, there you are!" I grinned at him. "I knew you were around here somewhere."

He blinked at me, brow furrowed in confusion. "You did? That's not right..."

Now it was my turn to be confused. "Why, are you supposed to be a secret? I didn't know there were secrets in this dream."

"Wait, you know you're dreaming?"

"Well of course, I always know I'm dreaming. If I didn't, I couldn't do this, could I?" To demonstrate what this was I carefully concentrated and 'assumed' a secret drawer into being in the frame of the fainting couch; then I turned around, opened the drawer, took out a yellow-orange rose, and handed it to him. "See?"

He looked utterly taken aback. "But- but you're not supposed to be able to do that!" Speaking more to himself than to me, he murmured thoughtfully, "The only time anyone's been able to do anything like that is when Nakago... when Nakago recognized one of my illusions as such and forced his way out of it."

I tipped my head and tried to remember why that name was familiar. "Nakago, Nakago... oh right, that's the one who's my twin, isn't it? Well naturally if I'm a lucid dreamer than he must be too."

"A lucid... what?"

"Don't you know? A lucid dreamer is someone who is aware of and able to manipulate his dreams, at least to a small extent. And I am a lucid dreamer. But I have to be careful, because if I try too hard I wake up."

Tomo (oh yes, that was the name that went with those marvelous golden eyes) looked at me speculatively. "Do that, right now. Try to wake up and see if you can, okay?"

I blinked at the odd notion of trying to wake up when before I had always tried to stay asleep, but with the placid suggestibility of dreamers everywhere I was perfectly happy to adopt this goal as my own. "Errm, okay, if you like. I need to try to do something big..." Reshaping the room should be complicated enough to do it.

I looked at the fainting couch and made it grow claw feet and green velvet upholstry. I looked at the wall behind it and made it a plate glass window with a penthouse view of New York's night skyline. Hmm, still not enough... I turned to another wall and (this took nore concentration) made it another window, this time with a view on a jungle with sunny afternoon light. Now I could feel my dream presence getting shaky, but it still wasn't quite enough – I needed something that resisted... Grinning brightly I turned back to Tomo, who was still gaping at the windows. Carefully I evaluated him with my artist's eye... then I started replacing his wardrobe. His black boots grew to thigh-length and developed sexy lacings up the front, and their leather turned supple and butter-soft. His pants disappeared in favor of a black leather mini-skirt with built-in garters which were clipped to the boots, and his jacket and undershirt morphed into a male-cut corset... at which point he noticed what I was doing, squeaked in alarm, instinctively resisted... and I woke up.

... Blink, blink-blink. Oh, I'm in bed with Tomo. That's good. What a weird dream... wait, there's that shell in his hand! That wasn't a dream, it was an illusion – we were both awake before, and he agreed to show me an illusion...

The glow in the shell winked out, and Tomo's eyes opened. "Mareu, what the hell- !?" He noticed me regarding him with equal confusion and paused mid-shout.

"So, erm, I take it that wasn't quite what was supposed to happen?" I asked hesitantly.

Tomo shook his head mutely, then took a deep breath. "Now that you're awake and thinking coherently, why don't you try telling me what lucid dreaming is?"

I grimaced. "Yeah, I'm stupid when I'm sleeping. Nakago's 'the one who's my twin' so naturally he must be a lucid dreamer too? _That's_ jumping to conclusions if ever I've heard such a thing."

Tomo coughed a laugh. "Actually I think you might be right about that. But if you would be so kind as to explain...?"

"Oh right, sorry. See, there are different kinds of sleep, and people only dream during the lightest kind, when they're closest to being awake. So close to being awake that some parts of your brain actually do wake up. For a normal sort of dream the only part of your brain that's awake is the subconscious part that worries about things and makes up the story of your life – this is called the id. But for a lucid dreamer another part, called the ego, also wakes up. This is the part that you use to put together sentences and logically analyze things, so a lucid dreamer (like me) can recognize that they're dreaming and exert some control over the dream. But because the superego, the part of your brain that recognizes inconsistencies and ridiculous things, is still sleeping, a lucid dreamer can still do typically dreamlike illogical things like fly and make objects change shape and color for no apparent reason. But if I work too hard at it while I'm dreaming, I wake the rest of the way up because I'm not very deeply asleep to begin with. Um... got all that?"

"Uh... I _think_ so. Do you ever dream the normal way? I mean, not that I think you're weird or anything, but..." Tomo fumbled for a way to repair his faux pas, but I just chuckled.

"Of course I'm weird. But yes, I do dream normally sometimes, it's just difficult for me to get to the right depth of sleep."

"Hmm..." Tomo bit his knuckle thoughtfully. "I could probably control that... tell you to go more deeply to sleep, and then your subconscious could direct the story properly..."

I noticed that I was getting quite hungry and sighed. "But we don't have time today, right?"

Tomo glanced at the window. "Yes, you're right – we had better get up now or we'll miss breakfast." He sat up and ran a hand through his hair, but it caught on a snarl and he grimaced, muttering to himself, "Oh great, it's going to take me forever to get all these knots out..." He noticed that I had over heard him and blushed guiltily. "Erm, not that I'm complaining..."

I chuckled. "Oh, I know _exactly_ how annoying it is – my hair may not be as long as yours but it tangles something fierce because it's naturally wavy... Here, I'll tell you what: I'll go get dressed and when I'm done I'll come back over here and help you, how's that?"

"Help me?" he asked faintly.

"Sure, help you brush the knots out – I mean, if you don't mind?" Now that I though about it, it did seem the sort of thing he would be shy about. "I know how to do it without pulling, goodness knows I've done it often enough for my little sister and a girlfriend here and there..."

Tomo started at the word 'girlfriend' and I thought, _Uh oh, tactical error..._ but then his look shifted to one of shy resolve. "A-alright... I'd be glad if you'd help. It would be nice... I haven't had someone else brush my hair since I was a child."

I gave him my most dazzlingly beatific smile as a reward for his courage. "Wonderful, then I'll come back over here as soon as I'm washed and dressed!"

Tomo nodded, so I retrieved my dressing gown from the floor and threw it on, then hurried out the door and over to my own room. 


	8. Attention, Wishes, And Families

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

  


AN: Sunandshadow bounces happily. It's flowing again, it's flowing again! I must have written 10,000 words yesterday and today! ^_^ I am happy.

  


  


Facepaint 

by Sunandshadow

  


Chapter 7 – Attention, Wishes, and Families

  


  


I was proud of myself – not only had I gotten to spend half an hour running my hands through Tomo's gorgeous silvery hair, I had led the way through the twisting maze of corridors to the seishi's dining room all by myself! If you absolutely _must_ get up early, _that's_ the way to do it.

  


The other four celestial warriors and our miko were already distributed around the table when Tomo and I wandered in, so we just took the last two chairs. Soi, complete with dark smudges under her eyes from not sleeping well, looked at Tomo expectantly for a long moment. When he merely dished up a plate of breakfast, she broke the silence to ask pointedly, "What, no sarcastic comment this morning?"

  


Tomo smirked. "Oh yes, that thunder. I had forgotten about it actually, but I'm sure I could come up with something sufficiently scathing if you feel you need the attention." _Ouch. _It took all of my willpower not to grin. _'He speaks poniards, and every word stabs,' as the Bard said. Odd how I can feel sympathy for Soi and at the same time enjoy Tomo's insulting her. I've never been able to decide whether I'm virtuously good at seeing all sides of an issue, or hypocritically a bastard beneath my kind exterior. Maybe both._

  


Soi sniffed haughtily. "I'm sure I can get by perfectly well without any attention from you, butterfly boy." _Ah, not so true as she thinks._ I commented to myself. _People are addictive. Once you taste being loved by them you need their attention as badly as you need air. _

  


To lighten the atmosphere, I retorted playfully, "Hey, don't insult my butterfly!"

  


"_Your_ butterfly?" asked Nakago.

  


I blinked. "Of course. I told you I was an artist – who did you think painted this butterfly and yesterday's dragon?"

  


Nakago pondered this for a moment. "Dare I ask why?"

  


I toyed with the idea of replying, 'No, you don't dare ask why.' but I didn't want Nakago thinking I was _quite_ that juvenile. But what _should_ I answer? The problem was that both Nakago and Tomo were listening and I couldn't think of an answer I wanted both of them to hear. If I only cared about Tomo's reaction I could say something like, 'The canvas inspired me.'; if I only wanted to impress Nakago I might pronounce archly, 'To test how much I had won Tomo's trust, and also because it amused me.'; but _both_? Trying to make a sentence that will manipulate two different people in two different ways gives me a headache.

  


So I shrugged, and simply said, "I'm an artist – I paint things."

  


Nakago snorted disbelievingly. "If you're going to answer in tautologies, you might be better off keeping your mouth shut."

  


Yui, also not eager to have a squabble at the breakfast table, changed the subject by asking, "So, what would everyone like to wish for when we summon Seiryuu?"

  


"Wish?" I inquired.

  


"Part of my being the Seiryuu no Miko is the duty to collect the seven celestial warriors and with their help perform a ritual to summon Seiryuu to this world. In gratitude for being summoned he has promised to give each of us a wish. Now that we have all the seishi we have to decide what we want to wish for so we'll all be ready to say what we want at the ceremony. You can wish for whatever you want, but _I'm_ going to wish to return to the real world."

  


"Gah, why would you want to go back and face all that" I shuddered melodramatically, "_homework?_"

  


"What's so bad about homework? I know some people can't stand school because they're just too dumb to understand, but you made it into university, so you can't be that bad of a student."

  


I drew myself up indignantly. "I was an _honor_ student, thank you very much! I have an IQ of 150 and I test at the 98th percentile for intelligence – that means only one person in 100 is smarter than I am!" I folded my arms across my chest and slumped huffily. "I don't hate homework because it's hard, I hate it because it's a pointless waste of time when I'm ready to start my life's work. I _should_ be creating my art to shape the future of my culture, but _no_, I have to obey the whims of five professors who keep assigning me to write more damn papers that I don't learn anything from because I've written a hundred already, they just assign them because it's the_ easy, accepted_ thing to do, and the professors don't even communicate with each other, so none of them knows or cares that between them I've been assigned three ten-page papers to write and two novels to read over the course of a single week…!"

  


I realized I was ranting and no one but Yui had a clue what I was talking about, so I cut myself off, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Sorry." I said shortly. "It's just that I'm twenty-one, I've been in school since I was _three_, it keeps getting harder every year, and I'm burned out. School is the one thing for which I have exhausted all my patience. I have _no_ desire to go back to that rat race." Just thinking about being so soul-weary made me feel tired, and I folded my arms on the table and lay my head down on them.

  


I made 'comfort me!' eyes at Tomo. He looked at me in surprise for a moment, then tentatively put a hand on my back and started rubbing. I sighed, letting the tension drain out of my muscles, and leaned into his caress. Significant looks were probably being exchanged around the table, and Nakago's expression was undoubtedly quite interesting, but I didn't feel like turning to look. Tomo was smiling; that was enough.

  


"Ahem... What are you going to wish for, Nakago?" asked Amiboshi.

  


"I don't feel it necessary to explain myself to you."

  


Man, why does he always have to be in such a snit? I tipped my head at Nakago and considered. "I bet I know what you want."

  


Nakago looked at me with disbelief and mild offense. "You presume to be able to predict my thoughts?"

  


"Well, let me guess, then tell me if I'm wrong."

  


"Guess then." There was cold steel in his voice, but I ignored it.

  


"You want to be Emperor." All heads swiveled to watch Nakago's reaction. His eyes widened slightly and his jaw clenched, but other than that he remained perfectly still.

  


"_And?_" he ground out. Eyes all around the table widened when they realized he had as much as said I was right.

  


"Um… you want to start a dynasty. A _hin_ dynasty. This will entail searching the four kingdoms to see if you can find any survivors or halfbreeds, and while you're at it you might want to gather the intelligent, strong, and fair youth from around the country to add to the pool. Try to get the nobility in the hands of the people who can actually wield it properly, have a little fun with eugenics..."

  


"_Anything else?!?_" he grated dangerously.

  


"Uh… you want to write a book? On war and politics? Like Sun Yat Sen's The Art of War or Machievelli's The Prince. The book's circulation would have to be restricted to the generals and nobility of kutou for the country's protection, of course…"

  


"_Enough!_" I managed not to flinch. Just barely. "How the _fuck_ do you know that?!"

  


I shrugged one shoulder. "It's what I would want, if I were you." Everyone facefaulted. "Luckily I'm not you, I don't want the same things you do, but I remember what it was like to think that way. Now... I don't think being in charge is worth the effort, although it might be nice to have a school to run my _own_ way, show all those pompous fools how easy it is to do it _properly_. A dynasty? It might be nice to have some children to love and teach, but I'd rather leave an intellectual inheritance. A hundred years from now I want people to remember me for my stories, not because I have lots of grandchildren. And a book, I think I already mentioned that. I know almost nothing about war – what I know about are people. People's minds, people's hearts – I want to write a book that will _shape_ that. Maybe a comedy, maybe a love story... but something great.

  


"There are my dreams for you – and I don't need a divine wish to achieve any of them."

  


Nakago was still glaring at me, though it had shifted from pure fury more toward contempt as I described how my dreams differed from his. "And what more _worthy_ thing, _oh wise one_, would _yo__u_ do with _your_ divine wish?"

  


I sighed. "I don't think your wishes are unworthy, it's just not what I would wish for. Maybe you and I are twins, in some mysterious way undoubtedly having to do with a certain dragon god, but I'm not you, we're probably as different as amiboshi and suboshi are. You want what you want and I'll want what I want – hell I'll even help you, if you want an adviser. I could tell you about King Louis the Fourteenth, the Sun King, he did much what you want to do. Or I could tell you about Socrates' two plans for the ideal city, the one he created when he was an idealistic young man and the one he created when he was jaded and middle age, just before he was jailed and executed for causing public disorder..."

  


Now his look had moderated to offended dignity, mixed with something I couldn't read. "But your wish?" he persisted.

  


I looked chagrined and turned my hands up helplessly. "I dunno, I didn't even know I got one until today – give me a week to think about it. I mean there are all sorts of crazy things I could ask for – I always fancied having wings, for example – but it would take me a while to decide on a good one. If I could... I suppose the best possible thing would be if I could fix one of the great injustices of the world. Like make everyone beautiful or healthy or... maybe eliminate gender?" I perked up at this wacky idea.

  


"Wouldn't _that_ throw everyone for a loop? Poof, and suddenly there's no more male, no more female, no more gay, no more straight... just people and love, my two favorite things. Turn everyone into hermaphrodites – gods, can you _imagine_ the chaos that would cause?"

  


"You..." pronounced Nakago, actually looking faintly shocked, "are evil. If you really intended to wish for that I would _personally_ prevent you from being able to summon Seiryuu."

  


I looked exaggeratedly innocent. "Me? Evil? Nonono, I'm cute, friendly, and kind to animals. Mothers trust me to babysit their children. I couldn't _possibly_ be evil."

  


"Mareu..." asked Tomo, his voice slightly strained, "You wouldn't _really_ wish for that, would you?"

  


"Well... not if it would make you all unhappy...?" I looked around the table with innocent concern plastered on my face.

  


"It. Would. Make. Us. Un. _Happy_!" chorused my fellow seishi.

  


"Well all right then." I pouted. "I suppose I'll have to think of something else." They nodded fervently.

  


"Something _else_." stated Nakago in a voice of unquestionable command.

  


"Yes Nakago." I agreed demurely, and everyone looked relieved and started to relax.

  


I couldn't take it any more – a snicker escaped me, and then I was giggling helplessly. "Gods you guys are so much fun to play with... The looks on your faces...!" I grinned at them all.

  


"You're insane." pronounced Nakago icily.

  


"So... you were joking?" asked Soi tentatively.

  


"Oh no," I said casually, lounging on the table once more. "I was serious, but I'd give a whacked-out idea like that a hell of a lot more thought before I tried to implement it. Probably make it part of the wish that no one was upset by the change or something. Wouldn't want people committing suicide or trying to lynch me or anything unpleasant like that. Have to make sure that anyone who started out male got their hips widened so they wouldn't die in childbirth... there'd be all sorts of thorny technical difficulties, and I wouldn't get a second wish to fix any unexpected problems caused by the first one." I waved a hand dismissively. "An interesting thought exercise, but much too risky to try to implement without a good reason."

  


Tomo regarded me disbelievingly. "Mareu... you really are evil, aren't you?" I smiled – the way he said 'evil' almost made it sound like a complement.

  


"Mm. And _you_ like it." I replied insouciantly. Tomo blushed and did not answer.

  


I smiled blissfully. "That's okay then. I don't care if I'm evil, as long as I'm loved." Tomo blushed more.

  


Nakago looked disgusted at my sappiness. "_Must_ you do that at the breakfast table?"

  


"What, be unbearably sappy? Flirt with my new boyfriend? Yes and yes, sorry, but I absolutely must or I do believe I shall perish from the lack." I draped my hand over my forehead melodramatically, like a Victorian lady about to swoon because her corset was too tight.

  


Nakago visibly took a moment to process the word 'boyfriend', then buried his face in his hands in surrender, muttering, "I don't want to know..." I mentally patted myself on the back for taking him down a notch. Sure he'd be back to his iron-clad self tomorrow, but he would be a bit more wary when I opened my mouth.

  


I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms behind my head, tossing Tomo a satisfied smile. "I like it here. You guys make a good family. Maybe I'll stay."

  


"...'Family'?" wondered suboshi, the others also looking at me in mild confusion.

  


No doubt they were wondering what new insanity I was going to spout. I thought I had better spare them any further distress this morning, so I phrased my answer as gently as I could. "Sure. 'Lover'," I pointed at Tomo, "'Twin'," I pointed at Nakago, who scowled to be thus labeled, "'Sister', or perhaps 'Sister-in-law'," I pointed at Soi, "and 'Little Brothers'." I indicated Amiboshi and Suboshi. "Instant family." I turned to Yui apologetically. "I would call you little sister, but if you're going back... you must have a family of your own to return to, right?"

  


She nodded, clearly trying not to sniffle, "My mom and dad..."

I nodded understandingly – she was probably very close to her parents if she was the only child. Me, I had a sister 4 years younger and a brother 13 years younger, so I was always 'the one who could take care of herself'. 'The cat who walks alone', if you will. And then I got tired of being alone, and decided I wanted my own family – and, picky artist that I am, it had to be a family of choice, not convenience, whose members actually liked each other... "So. You will go back to your parents, and I will stay here and make a family for the rest of us, and I suppose we will all have to live happily ever after. Right?"

  


Yui smiled mistily, and nodded – she didn't believe that right now, but she would try to convince herself of it, and that was half the battle.

  


Nakago, on the other hand... "And you intend to accomplish this fairy-tale ending exactly _how_? Now _that_ seems like not even a celestial wish could accomplish it." Suboshi scowled – he had been happy and excited to think of having another older brother and being part of a real family again.

  


"Not at all – a fairy-tale ending is whatever you think it is. To build a family is fairly simple – I need the respect and cooperation of the members," Nakago snorted and I eyed him exasperatedly – of course he was going to be stubborn about it, "and a little political and economic power, and a great deal of caring, energy, and enthusiasm. The latter three I have, and your cooperation can wait," ha, there was my own little barb, "so next on my list is a small amount of power. You seem to have plenty – care to delegate some to me, or do I have to earn it the hard way?"

  


Suddenly Nakago smirked with utmost evilness, and I wondered what subtle mistake I had just made. "You want power Mareu? You want a chance to earn my respect? You want to protect your 'little brothers'? Very well then. I was planning to send Amiboshi to go spy on the Suzaku seishi, but _you_ can go instead. If you are as lovable as you seem to think then you should have no problem getting them all to give you their loyalty, and, more to the point, the Emperor's signature on a document pledging he will support a coup to take out the Kutou Emperor and install me in his place."

  


I bit my knuckle and pondered. This was indeed the opportunity I had been asking for. And if the Suzaku seishi didn't kill me on first sight I would probably be able to charm my way into their good graces…

  


"It's impossible. He'll get killed and then we won't be able to summon Seiryuu." objected Soi, probably more on Tomo's behalf than her own. Tomo looked stricken, which hurt me to see, but he wasn't objecting...

  


"No," I answered distractedly, "no it's not impossible. But could I do it in any reasonable amount of time? Maybe, if…" I shook my head in frustration. "Too many ifs. What do we know about the Suzaku seishi and miko?"

  


Nakago looked at me and smiled the smile of a devil who has just bought a soul. "Come with me, I'll give you the full briefing on them."

  


  


_________________________

  


AN: In case you missed it, Mareu's comment about not being able to sing refers to the way everyone makes fun of Nakago' singing on the Seiryuu Counterattack CD.


	9. Once More, With Feeling

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc. New warning - blood in this chapter (the lemon part, but it's not particularly squicky.)

  
  


AN: Okay, Mareu figured out the basics of how his seishi powers work a chapter or so ago, but I'm not going to say what they are yet – it can be a surprise. ^_~ Also, I added a prologue to this fanfic, if you go back and read it it explains how Nakago ended up reincarnated as Mareu.

  
  


Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

  
  


Chapter 8 – Once More, With Feeling

  
  


I walked into the seishi's dining room and Nakago choked on his tea. Soi and Tomo looked at him in shock, then followed his gaze to me, and both facefaulted. After taking a moment to recover, Soi leaned over and whispered to Tomo, "I'd call that Tamahome green, wouldn't you?"

  
  


Tomo nodded emphatically but whispered back, "You said it, not me."

  
  


"Are you ok?" I asked Nakago with real concern. He said nothing, but his look of shock changed to a poisonous glare. "Oh come on, now what did I do wrong?" I seated myself at the table. "You said several of the Suzakus have seen you, so I figured dyeing my hair would be a good start on my disguise." I huffed.

  
  


Soi coughed. "Interesting choice of color."

  
  


"Do you think it looks ok?" I addressed my question as much to Tomo as to Soi. "The first guy I ever had a crush on had hair like this, and I figured now that I'm a bisienen I could try and pull off the look. Of course I don't have his purple eyes, or…" I blinked at Nakago, who was now an odd shade of red. "Uh… what…?"

  
  


Clearly trying not to laugh, Tomo asked, "Mareu, was this guy's name by any chance…"

  
  


Nakago cut him off, "_Don't_ say it." Tomo paused, caught between his habitual reaction to Nakago and the fact that he had transferred his loyalty to me now. He compromised by staying silent but smirking at Nakago's discomfiture.

  
  


"Uh, his name was Kyoichi Saionji. Why?"

  
  


Tomo turned to Nakago and said smugly, "See? Aren't you relieved to know it's not the same guy?" Nakago glared daggers at him, then without a word got up and walked out of the room.

  
  


I waited until he was out of earshot, then demanded, "Ok give: what the hell was _that _about?"

  
  


"Tamahome." Soi grumbled the name.

  
  


"This is a guy who has green hair?"

  
  


"This is a _suzaku seishi_ who has green hair _and_ purple eyes _and_ Nakago had a crush on him." Tomo clarified in a cheerfully acid voice. Soi scowled.

  
  


Ok, now I was confused. "But… but I thought he was straight!"

  
  


"He wishes he is. He's like you, likes both, but he'd never admit to liking a guy. Hell, he'd never admit to liking _anyone_, but at least he pays attention to Soi." Soi preened slightly at Tomo's grumbled admission.

  
  


"Ohhhhh! That makes so much more sense!" At some point he must have decided that admitting that sex with a guy could be a good thing would be tantamount to accepting the emperor's abuse of him... How awful. It would be really disturbing to be powerfully attracted to someone yet think that even feeling that was wrong because you were betraying yourself to your enemy, or maybe _becoming_ your enemy... 

  
  


"It does." stated Tomo, his disbelieving tone indicating that it most emphatically did _not_.

  
  


"Yes, yes of course... Dude, you know, that was the only major difference between he and I – maybe he really _must_ be my long lost twin, or something."

  
  


Soi's eyes widened as if she had just had an epiphany. "Or something... Maybe... maybe you're his reincarnation! It says right in the legend that the celestial warriors are incarnated over and over again to serve their god – if Seiryuu rejected the original Miboshi's service he could only have used another seiryuu sei as a replacement, and since the rest of us were already here in this incarnation..."

  
  


Soi let her sentence trail off and Tomo wide-eyed finished it for her. "...Seiryuu must have grabbed a copy of Nakago from a different incarnation cycle?"

  
  


I scowled. "I am not a _copy_ of anyone."

  
  


Tomo looked alarmed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-!"

  
  


I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair at the reminder of how fragile he was and why I really shouldn't take my irritation out on him. "Yeah, I know what you meant, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to growl at you. This idea just bothers me. I mean, I've always kinda halfway believed in reincarnation. Although my guess was that I was a reincarnation of Socrates or Confucius or something. Modesty? Me? Never heard of it." I winked at him, though it was a bit half-hearted because I was still disturbed. "But... before Seiryuu brought me here I didn't have a seishi symbol or any kind of divine powers, I was just a... well not exactly normal, I've never been what you could call normal... but I was just a college student, and a girl at that. So how could I possibly be another incarnation of him, if the seven of you are always incarnated to serve your god?"

  
  


Soi shrugged. "Don't ask me, ask Seiryuu."

  
  


Tomo sniffed at this unhelpful reply. "Well _I_ think it doesn't really matter if you're Nakago's reincarnation or just someone chosen by Seiryuu because you have a similar temperament – you're Miboshi now, and presumably will be for the rest of your life. You're yourself, no matter how you came to be here."

  
  


I couldn't help but smile – Tomo seemed quite pleased with himself that he'd managed to come up with some profound words to counter his earlier slip, even if I hadn't really taken being referred to as a 'copy' as an insult. That was one of the most charming things about him – when something really mattered to him he tried so _hard_... I couldn't help but want to reward him for his effort. So, I smiled fondly at him and said, "Perhaps you're right." and let that be the end of the conversation, though I still felt that I must have come here by absurdly lucky chance, not destiny or deserving. But then, I have always had the devil's own luck – I should have more than enough experience by now at enjoying rewards that I didn't earn.

  
  


And perhaps... perhaps I could come close to deserving this divine power and miraculous freedom from my previous life that the rest of them had bought with their suffering in this violent world trapped in the past... perhaps if I threw myself into loving and helping them, if I wielded this gift well enough, it would be almost the same as earning it. It would be a true good deed if I could help repay some of what the gods and the universe owed these people for their pain.

  
  


  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter 8 lemon scene here! ^_^

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(It's up now! ^_^)

  
  



	10. Girl Stuff, Guy Stuff

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

  
  


AN: The Suzakus at last! This should be funny, Mareu can _so_ think rings around all of them, kakakaka! /me rubs hands together in evil glee... Oi! You! Don't forget to go read the Chapter 8 lemon first if you haven't yet!

  
  


Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 9 – Girl Stuff, Guy Stuff

  
  


Obviously Nakago had multiple motives for choosing me to go spy on the Suzaku seishi. Tamahome hadn't seen me when he was held captive here, but he hadn't seen the twins either, and he certainly _had_ seen Nakago. I was more persuasive and physically stronger than Amiboshi, but also less likely to be trusted because I was an adult and I looked like a hin, even with my hair dyed. On the flip side of that coin though, I had the option of seducing one of them, and he didn't; he had neither the maturity nor the technique for that sort of project.

  
  


The emperor was rumored to be very beautiful, and everyone had fallen for Tamahome when he had been in Kutou, so with luck I would even enjoy this mission. I was still definitely not happy about leaving Tomo behind when I had just barely begun to explore the depths of his personality. It was probable that Nakago deliberately wanted to separate us because I compromised Tomo's loyalty to him. Was Nakago actually jealous? Maybe. I was thoroughly curious about Nakago also. I was seriously considering Soi's theory was that Nakago was somehow a version of me – a version that had grown up male in a country at war, without access to much in the way of philosophy or social theory, but still there were underlying similarities. Or rather, _I_ was a version of _him_, though it galled my ego to phrase it that way.

  
  


At any rate, the point was that to get back to Kutou and the people I wanted to study and heal and help, first I had to study and then carefully manipulate these Suzakus so I could carry out my mission and go 'home'. Preferably within two weeks, as I was reminded each time I shifted position and the fabric of my shirt slid painfully over the scratches on my back.

  
  


Thus, I sat at a small table in the inn's common room, having breakfast and covertly eyeing the table full of seishi and miko breakfasting on the other side of the room. I had never seen so many beautiful faces in the same place at the same time! Some of them were not my type – the little girl (obviously the miko) and the big guy with the cat – but I could tell people with other tastes would find them attractive. The blue-haired guy was kind of weirdly cute, but the other four… the other four were just breathtaking.

  
  


The green-haired one (Tamahome presumably) was clearly taken by the little girl, so I discarded him as a possibility. Plus it would be unwise (to say the least!) to take something Nakago had once wanted badly, maybe still did. That left the red-haired guy, the brown-haired guy (the Emperor?), and a purple-haired girl. Any of them would be interesting… but as I watched them talk and joke with each other the bright personality of the purple-haired girl caught my attention and made me smile. Someone cheerful and playful and softly female would make a nice change from Tomo's shyness, fiery passion, elegant self-control, and edged masculinity. I was decidedly not tired of Tomo yet, and it would feel wrong to take someone at all similar to him as a lover while I planned to return to him, but a taste of a different flavor… that might be okay.

  
  


Now, a strategy. First a subtle approach, then a direct approach if subtlety doesn't work. I propped my elbows on the table, cradled my chin in my hands, and stared soulfully at the purple-haired girl. I just watched her, acting love-stricken, and waited for someone to notice.

  
  


Eventually, someone did. The blue haired guy noticed me, then leaned over and whispered to the little girl. I took this as my cue to get ready to act, and started concentrating on the memory of feeling embarrassed. The miko looked at me, giggled, and said rather loudly, "Hey Nuriko, it looks like you've got an admirer! And this one's cute too!" causing _all_ of them to swivel in their seats and look at me. I made myself blush, and looked away, then stole a glance back to see what I could read from their expressions. Red-haired guy apparently found the situation hilarious, and his loud teasing was rapidly angering the purple-haired girl. Everyone else looked mildly amused, except for the miko, who looked delighted. The redhaired guy made one more comment, and Nuriko knocked him upside the head, then huffed and sat back down to her breakfast. Ignoring him _and_ me. The miko pouted, and I thought, _Hmm, maybe I can use her if she's inclined to meddle…_ The next time the young girl looked over at me I caught her gaze and secretively beckoned her over. She blinked, then got the idea and grinned, with that special wickedness that only comes of plotting matchmaking.

  
  


She stood up and announced, "I'm going to go say hi to him!" Nuriko looked mortified and the others looked a bit shocked, but she ignored them all, marching right over to my table and plunking herself down across from me. "Hi! I'm Yuuki Miaka, nice to meet you!"

  
  


I smiled sweetly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miaka. I'm Kuntsu Mareu."

  
  


She leaned forward and said knowingly, "You like Nuriko!"

  
  


"Is that the purple-haired girl's name? She's very beautiful, and she looks like she has a sweet personality too."

  
  


"Um actually… can I tell you a secret?"

  
  


I blinked. "Sure!"

  
  


She leaned farther forward and whispered, "Don't be mad, but Nuriko's not a girl, he's a guy."

  
  


I blink-blinked. Crossdressing Suzaku seishi? How had _that_ little detail not gotten into my briefing, hmm Nakago? I focused on Nuriko once more, ignoring the fact that the others at the table were watching me. I tipped my head sideways and analyzed his figure. It was difficult to see much of anything through the dress he was wearing, but now that I knew to look the telltales were there: angular shoulders, adam's apple, narrow hips, the joints and ligaments of his hand more obvious than they would be on a woman… I turned back to Miaka, still a bit stunned with surprise. "Huh, he _is_ a guy." _So much for 'a different flavor'_, I thought wryly. Although his personality was obviously quite different... and I _still_ needed a reason to join the Suzakus...

  
  


Miaka sighed. "Gomen." She started to get up from the table.

  
  


"No, wait! Um, I mean, does he… like guys?"

  
  


A big grin lit her face and she dropped back into the seat. "Do you?"

  
  


"Actually yes, I like both. And I still think he's very beautiful…"

  
  


"Lucky!" she exclaimed, holding up her fingers in a 'V for victory'. "I get to play matchmaker! Okay! Now, Nuriko likes boys. He's in love with Hotohori, but Hotohori only likes girls, specifically me even though I like Tamahome, so anyway it's pretty sad and I've been trying to find Nuriko somebody who can like him back…" I blinked and tried to take all that in. Hmm, even better… I love rescuing people from the depths of unrequited love. You could even call it my specialty. Although... it wasn't really a commitment I was free to make right now...

  
  


"Who's Hotohori?"

  
  


"See the royal-looking guy with the long brown hair?"

  
  


'Royal-looking'? Definitely must be the emperor then. Hmm, he seemed like the quiet, dignified type, and being the emperor he was obviously a power-wielding type too… I could act that role for Nuriko, maybe. "Ah, I see him. How can he not like Nuriko?" I wondered petulantly, hamming it up for Miaka. "If Nuriko loved _me_ I would thank my lucky stars!" That brought back a nice memory – Tomo pointing out our constellations in the sky as we sat in the garden a few nights ago. It had been one of those amazing, crisp nights you only get right at the beginning of autumn, the ones where everything smells spicy and interesting and you can't help but feel wonderfully alive... Mmmm... I sighed.

  
  


Taking my distraction to be caused by my contemplation of Nuriko's beauty, Miaka replied enthusiastically, "Yatta, I was hoping you would say that! Now we just need a plan to introduce you two!" I dutifully dragged my mind back to the present and tried to think of a plan.

  
  


"Hmm, where is your group traveling to? I could join you, for mutual protection, you know? I hear there are bandits around here, and you can always use another sword, right?"

  
  


"Wow, you're smart! That's a great idea! C'mon I'll introduce you to everyone and tell them you're traveling with us!" She grabbed my wrist and started hauling me toward the table.

  
  


"Uh, right now? Okaaay…"

  
  


The eyes of everyone at the table followed us, and as soon as we got within range Hotohori began, in a rather stilted and cultured voice, "Miaka! How many times do we have to tell you not to go charging off like that? How are we supposed to protect you…"

  
  


While at the same time Nuriko looked nervously at me, then scowled at Miaka and said, "Baka, what did you tell him?!"

  
  


Miaka waved them both off and announced brightly, "Everyone, this is Kuntsu Mareu! He's going to travel with us because together we're all safer from bandits! Not you, Tasuki." Tasuki rolled his eyes. "Mareu, this is Hotohori, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Tama-neko, Chichiri, Tamahome, and _Nuriko_!" She said Nuriko's name with an enthusiastic flourish that made Nuriko wince and made me wish my little matchmaker had taken some acting lessons. Oh well, you take what help you can get.

  
  


"Hello." I purred, looking at Nuriko, (oh, he _was_ pretty up close!) then said more generally, "Miaka invited me to travel with you, I hope no one minds." I rubbed the back of my neck, looking slightly embarrassed.

  
  


Hotohori had one eyebrow arched. "I suppose you might as well travel with us, if you're going the same direction."

  
  


Heh, he must want me to distract Nuriko from him. Now why does this situation seem familiar, I wonder? "Thank you." I accepted his agreement gracefully and pulled another chair up to the table between Nuriko and Tasuki.

  
  


Chichiri was frowning thoughtfully at me. "Miaka," he said slowly, "Would you look at your mirror please, no da?"

  
  


"My mirror? It's upstairs, can I look at it after breakfast?"

  
  


"I suppose…" he said doubtfully.

  
  


_Mirror?_ I wondered, then shrugged it off.

  
  


Tamahome asked Miaka, "So what were you two talking about?"

  
  


"Oh, girl stuff." replied Miaka breezily. Tamahome raised an eyebrow.

  
  


I coughed in pretended embarrassment. Actually not so pretended, as I had always been a tomboy and it wasn't until I was seventeen (apparently it's common for bisexuals to be late bloomers, while homosexuals tend to be early bloomers, something to do with hormone balances) that I found myself able to discuss 'girl stuff' without grimacing. I _still_ dislike the color pink. All of which was probably why I made a half-decent guy now, even if I did have a serious weakness for shopping. "So, ah… are we leaving after breakfast?"

  
  


"Hai, that's the plan." replied Hotohori, keeping one eye curiously on Nuriko.

  
  


"I'm going to kill Miaka…" muttered Nuriko.

  
  


"Oh, don't be mad at her – it _was_ mostly my idea." I said charmingly, putting one elbow on the table and angling my body so my whole attention was focused on Nuriko.

  
  


Suddenly Tasuki asked loudly, "Miaka, did you tell him…?"

  
  


Miaka was busy eating, but after a moment she swallowed and said chirpily, "Of course!"

  
  


"K'so." said Tasuki, surprised.

  
  


Nuriko started, and blink-blinked. "Wait… you _did_ tell him?!?" His eyes widened and he looked at me.

  
  


I smiled lazily. "Mmm-hmm!"

  
  


Nuriko's expression shifted to one that said 'Help!'. He looked to Hotohori, but the emperor was pointedly examining his manicured nails. I began to feel a little sorry for Nuriko. Sorry for all of these Suzakus, really – they seemed to have gotten shorted a bit in the maturity department. Nakago, Tomo, and Soi acted like they'd lived _lifetimes _longer than these people, not just a few years.

  
  


Tasuki grumbled, "Ch', _great_, now I have ta deal with _two_ of 'em?!"

  
  


Nuriko's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "Tasuki no baka! That's rude!"

  
  


"What, 'fraid I'll scare 'im away?" Tasuki stood up also, taking a fighting stance and grinning tauntingly at Nuriko.

  
  


I mentally compared him to Nakago and had to snort a laugh. "Oh, _trust_ me, it would take a _lot_ more than _you _to scare _me_ away."

  
  


Tasuki spun to face me, suddenly looking less friendly. "Ya think I'm not scary?" He smirked, showing his fangs. "I guess I'll jus' have to scare ya a little then!" As he finished his sentence he whipped a fan-like object from his back. "Rekka…!"

  
  


At this point, several things happened at once: Nuriko's eyes widened and he leapt forward, clapping his hand over Tasuki's mouth, red symbol glowing through the shoulder of his dress; Tamahome also leaped forward, clapping his hand over Nuriko's hand over Tasuki's mouth, red symbol glowing on his forehead; and I instinctively disappeared the fan thing from Tasuki's hands to my own. I could feel my own seishi symbol burning, but between the collar of my shirt and my heavy necklace no blue light escaped into the room.

  
  


"Tasuki you aho!" shouted Tamahome. "No flame throwing indoors! Do you know how much the repairs cost last time?!?"

  
  


"Or at civilians!" added Chichiri.

  
  


"Mmph umph mmph!" Tasuki tried to shout, gesturing at the fact that I had his fan thing. I took a moment to examine it. The edge was sharpened like that of a sword, and it was clearly a weapon, but I wasn't quite sure how one would wield it or what it had to do with flamethrowing. Interesting...

  
  


"Tasuki, if I let you go can you refrain from torching anything?"

  
  


Tasuki nodded hurriedly, and Tamahome and Nuriko let him loose. "Gimmie back my tessen!" He lunged for me and Nuriko and Tamahome immediately caught him again. "Lemme go you #$%^$ #%$&ing #$#$%^!"

  
  


Nuriko blinked at the tessen that was undeniably in my hands. "Anou… how did _you_ get the tessen?"

  
  


I smiled smugly. "He's not the only one who knows a little magic. Anyway, he can have it back if he promises not to attack me at least until we get outside. I wouldn't mind dueling, but it's bad policy to make enemies of innkeepers."

  
  


"K'so! I'll leave ya alone, just gimmie my tessen back!"

  
  


Nuriko and Tamahome released him once more, and I handed him the tessen. He grumbled, but folded and sheathed it.

  
  


"Well, I can see traveling with _this_ party is going to be an adventure." I chuckled and stood up from the table. "An adventure I must prepare for. I'll meet you all at the stables." I gave Nuriko a smile, and made my suave exit upstairs.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Meanwhile, downstairs several conversations had started simultaneously.

  
  


Nuriko growled, "Miaka, we are going to have a little chat _right now_!" and hauled Miaka off into a corner of the room.

  
  


Hotohori warily watched Nuriko pass by and decided it would be much safer to be upstairs packing than anywhere near _that_ conversation, so he left, as did Mitsukake.

  
  


Tamahome asked the others, "That guy reminds me of someone. Does he look familiar to any of you guys?"

  
  


Tasuki joked, "Well he's got your hair, maybe he's a relative?"

  
  


Tamahome grimaced and shook his head. "No, it's not his hair that looks familiar, it's how tall he is, the fair skin, the face shape…"

  
  


"What color does it seem like his hair ought to be, no da?" asked Chichiri intently.

  
  


"Uhh… A very light color… a light… yellow?!" Tamahome's eyes widened. "Oh shit. Imagine him with blond hair and blue eyes."

  
  


"Nakago… they do look similar, but his chi patterns are different, no da. And his eyes aren't blue, and eye color is not something you can change without magic that I'd be able to detect." Chichiri shook his head. "He probably just has some hin blood, no da."

  
  


"Yeah, you're right. Damn, could you ever imagine Nakago laughing like Mareu was? He wouldn't do that in a million years." Tamahome chuckled.

  
  


"Jus' great. So now we have to travel with Nakago's cousin the okama who can swipe my tessen any time he pleases. K'so. I'm going upstairs to pack."

  
  


"How did he get your tessen anyway, no da? I wish I would have been watching…"

  
  


"I dunno, one second it was in my hands and the next it was in his, without him even _moving_."

  
  


Tamahome chuckled. "You know Tasuki, you better stay on his good side. If he can disappear your tessen there's a good chance he could disappear something more important…"

  
  


"What could be more important than my tessen?"

  
  


"Oh, say, your clothes…"

  
  


Tasuki blanched. "$%^& of a &#% #&%!" Tamahome doubled over with laughter.

  
  


"Seriously no da," said Chichiri, "There's a good possibility that he might be our last seishi, which is probably reason enough to stay on his good side. I didn't mention it before because I didn't want Miaka ripping his clothes off na no da."

  
  


"You think he's a seishi?! Oh #$&#, that means we're stuck with him!" grumped Tasuki.

  
  


"Maybe, no da. He has as much chi as a seishi; its pattern is kind of strange, but then all of us have unique chi patterns that go with our different abilities, no da. And he did seem very intelligent – Chiriko is supposed to be the seishi of knowledge." Chichiri shrugged. "We'll know as soon as Miaka gets her mirror out. Meanwhile, we need to pack, na no da." They went upstairs.

  
  


At the other end of the inn's common room, Nuriko and Miaka were having their 'nice little chat' in the corner.

  
  


"Ok Miaka, I wanna know exactly what in the heck you said to him, and I wanna know RIGHT NOW."

  
  


Miaka blink-blinked. "Uh, I told him you're a guy and he said that was ok, he liked both."

  
  


Nuriko paused, looked flummoxed. "Honto? He just came right out and _admitted_ that?"

  
  


"Yep! Aaaand he said that you were beautiful!" Nuriko turned pink. "Oh, and we agreed that Hotohori is an idiot not to like you. That was about it."

  
  


"NANI?! You told him I liked Hotohori?!"

  
  


"Well, you do."

  
  


"Yes, but… argh! Miaka, you can't just go around picking up guys for me!"

  
  


"Why not? Don't you think he's cute?"

  
  


"Anou, well… that's not the point!"

  
  


"Sure it is! If I get a cute boyfriend you deserve to have one too. So are you going to thank me or not?"

  
  


Nuriko buried his face in his hands. "Suzaku save me from matchmaking mikos…" He took a deep breath, then released it with a huff. "Allright Miaka. Thank you. But, don't do any more, okay? Onegai? Let me handle it."

  
  


"You're going to be nice to him then? You're not going to try to ignore him?"

  
  


"Miaka…!" whined Nuriko. "I _want_ to ignore him. If I don't pay much attention to him he'll figure out I can't like him and go away."

  
  


"Whadda you mean, you can't like him? Why not?"

  
  


"Because he's not Hotohori!" Nuriko sounded agonized.

  
  


Miaka blinked. "But… You're not even going to give him a chance?"

  
  


Nuriko sighed heavily. "I just… I don't think I _can_."

  
  


Miaka pouted. "Mou… Well, if you can't, you can't. But you ought to try. At least talk to him, see what he's like. It's only fair, don't you think?"

  
  


"Yes… it wouldn't really be fair not to talk to him…" Nuriko sighed again.

  
  


"Oh, cheer up, it can't be _that_ bad spending a few days talking to a cute guy."

  
  


Nuriko blinked. "Well, I suppose if you look at it that way… Well all right. We need to go get packed or the others are going to leave without us. But from now on, definitely no picking guys up for me, got it?"

  
  


"Haihai." Miaka, anxious not to be the one making everybody late, took Nuriko's wrist and started hauling him up the stairs, her childish enthusiasm bringing a small smile back to his face despite his inner turmoil.

  
  


AN: I really have no idea where the plot should go to get Mareu back to Kutou. Anyone want to suggest something? I'll definitely get some alcohol in there somewhere, though. ^_~


	11. Love and Alcohol

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc. Warning: discussion of BDSM in this chapter. Oh, and alcohol, and drunken singing. Oh, and Woohoo! First mention of MPREG! Did I mention I'm playing a little game with myself to see how many warnings I can get this fic to require?

AN: In this chapter Tomo says Nakago is a terrible liar. This may seem OOC at first, but remember the scene where Nakago waits for Miaka and is going to rape her? His romantic act there is really, _really_ bad (in the anime, haven't gotten that volume of the manga in English yet). His scenes with Yui are pretty cheesy too. Nakago's personality type is INTJ : The Mastermind (Just like me, isn't that frightening? ) and INTJs depend heavily on information of various sorts, and of course information has to be true to be useful… at any rate INTJs tend to have trouble lying unless they think the particular lie is just as probable as the truth. ENTJs like Mareu, on the other hand, tend to lie as easily as breathing because the little white lie is integral to their diplomatic strategy. Why do they have different personality types? Because Ayuru would have grown up to be extroverted and charismatic, even more so than Mareu, if he hadn't been traumatized by violence and abuse. If Nakago were inherently an introvert he would be much worse at manipulating people because he would never have cared enough about them to want to learn how to manipulate them.

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 10 – Love and Alcohol

Suboshi was over-enthusiastically lionizing Mareu for going to spy in Amiboshi's place. Tomo (back in his regular facepaint and crown) listened to this with amusement for a while, then shook his head, drawling, "Mareu's not all _that_ nice. Don't forget that bit about wishing to turn us all into hermaphrodites." Tomo shuddered for dramatic effect.

"'Not that nice'? I thought you _loved_ him?" asked Nakago sarcastically.

Tomo suddenly turned serious. "I do love him. You think I could love someone pure and sweet and naive? _Oh_ no, that's not how it works. Ask Soi if you don't believe me."

"And what if I choose to ask _you_? You're right here." Nakago's tone was cuttingly contemptuous. "Can _you_ explain exactly how _love_ works? Well come on, I'm _waiting_."

Dammit, it _hurt_ to have Nakago ask him to give a lecture on love. But Tomo took a slow breath and lulled the jealous, neglected part of his heart into submission. In its place he called forth the part that enjoyed these verbal duels, the part that was an arrogant, consummate actor. He let the breath slowly back out, slipping behind the mask and centering himself. "Yes, I can explain it to you, if you wish to be educated." Nakago's eyes narrowed at the implication that he was ignorant, but he said nothing, just waited. "Love is when you notice that your personality and someone else's can take complementary roles that will produce a satisfyingly dramatic relationship. You create your identity by how you picture yourself in relation to other people; you love someone because you like who you are in relation to them. For example: if you did love someone for their purity it could be because you picture yourself as a defender of that purity. Or as a despoiler of it." Cough_Tamahome_cough. "Are you following me, Nakago? Or am I using too many theatrical terms?"

"You may continue."

"How gracious of you. Then, let us consider Suboshi here."

"What? Me?" Suboshi looked up from arranging his vegetables into a monster face.

Tomo ignored him. "Amiboshi takes the role of the parent, the nurturing, both-feet-on-the-ground protector who stands between Suboshi and the world. And Suboshi takes the complementary role of the wild child, the fey walker of the narrow line between playfulness and fury who needs a keeper to help him maintain the fragile balance. One might think of the gardener who grows the dangerous herbs that make medicine for the palace healers and poison for the palace assassins."

Nakago just grunted, but his eyes gave away that he was beginning to be intrigued.

Suboshi, confused, disturbed, and feeling that his privacy had been invaded, got up and left the table. Neither Tomo nor Nakago took much notice of his departure.

"Now the same person can play different roles at different times. You and your 'twin' Mareu, and Soi and I as well, have all played the role of an unreachable beauty for a bedazzled admirer. A fun role, and useful for manipulating the people willing to play admirer, but not very challenging or involving, so none of us are satisfied playing it for very long. Have you noticed, perhaps, that these relationships all seem to consist of two unequal roles? Of course, anyone as familiar with the dungeons as you are probably knows all about dominance and submission, I just wanted to point out that relationships are organized along the same lines even when there is no pain or use of force involved.

Doms always play the dominant role, subs always play the submissive role, and some people can take either role; these last are referred to a 'switches'. Soi I assume is a sub, I am a switch, Mareu is a switch but with a preference for submission. And what about you, Nakago? Everyone assumes from your demeanor that you are a dom. And honestly knowing your past it makes sense – people who are abused tend to come out either as pure doms or pure subs. But then again, often people who take a strong public attitude one way take the other role in private because the balance relieves psychic stress, like yin and yang. Or then there's Mareu's theory that you avoid sex entirely because you can't take the temporary loss of control it entails. So, is everyone reading you right, or…?"

"Mareu. Is. A switch. Who prefers. _Submission_!" On the last word Nakago's voice lost its strategic calmness and arced upward, betraying extreme surprise and what seemed to be outraged dignity.

Tomo blinked at Nakago's vehemence. "I believe that is what I said."

"That's impossible."

"Ah, I see you _do_ give credence to the theory that Mareu is your reincarnation then."

"Not now I don't."

"Interesting that you are more disturbed by the thought of being submissive than by the thought of being bisexual."

Nakago glared at Tomo. Tomo hid his smile behind a slender long-nailed hand.

Suddenly Nakago looked more cheerful and rather sly. "Ah, I see. Mareu," he said, with too much casualness and an odd fake tone to his voice, "grew up as a girl; it is only natural that _she_, although in a male body, still behaves as a girl in many ways, including being obnoxiously cheerful, being attracted to men, and being submissive."

Tomo tipped his head to one side and tapped his lips with a fingertip. "That would be an interesting theory, if it weren't for the fact that you obviously don't believe it. You're a terrible liar, if you'll pardon my saying so. And also, you're forgetting that Mareu likes girls too."

Nakago scowled at being caught in the lie, but he wasn't prepared to concede the argument so he took a different tack. "So Mareu said, but I haven't seen Mareu even look at a girl, have you?"

Tomo grimaced wryly, recalling the barely-dressed barbarian women with which Mareu had populated that village in the illusion world. "Yes, I have actually."

Nakago tensed. "He made a pass at Soi, didn't he?" Mentally Nakago completed the though, _I'll kill him_.

Tomo's eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. "Soi? Uh, no." He chuckled. "Careful, your jealousy is showing."

Nakago hmmphed, but relaxed.

Tomo teased a little more, "He _did_ complement a skirt she was wearing…" pause for dramatic emphasis, "but the rest of his statement was 'I used to have one just like it, only black.'" Nakago snorted, and Tomo smiled crookedly.

There was a moderately long, fairly comfortable pause, then Nakago abruptly asked, "Which one was it, do you remember?"

Tomo blinked, "Which one what?"

"Which skirt was she wearing?"

Tomo's surprise showed on his face. _Why the hell does he want to know that? Nakago never cares about clothing._ But he obligingly concentrated on his memory of the moment and described the skirt. "It was silk the color of her hair with blue embroidery of some sort of flowers, calf-length, slit on both sides."

"Of course." grumbled Nakago, "It _would_ be one of those."

"One of whats? I don't get it."

"Well no, you wouldn't, would you?"

"Well would you be so kind as to _explain _it to me then?"

"But you can't…" Nakago paused to consider if there was any way he could conceivably explain the phenomenon of the slit skirt to someone who did not appreciate women. And yes, it turned out, there was a way; a rather obvious one. Nakago sighed. "Ok, picture a guy wearing that skirt." Tomo raised one eyebrow. "Mareu in the black one if it so amuses you." Nakago's lips quirked slightly at the thought.

"Uh… and?" asked Tomo, completely confused.

"And picture him walking by, calves flashing briefly visible through the slit then disappearing into shadow again with each step. And every glimpse of a bare knee is a reminder that there's a bare thigh above it hidden by just a thin layer of silk." Nakago said all this in a bored tone of voice as if he himself were immune to such simple temptations.

Tomo considered this mental image with widened eyes. "Oh. Oh I see."

Nakago smirked slightly and, to emphasize that now _he_ was the authority doing the lecturing, added, "The principle of erotic clothing is not to reveal the body but to emphasize that the interesting bits are rather flimsily hidden." _Amazing what you learn growing up in a harem,_ he thought with black humor.

Tomo did not fight Nakago's taking the advantage in the conversation because he was busy worrying whether Mareu had indeed been flirting with Soi in making that remark. Tomo had no idea whether Mareu found Soi attractive or how to estimate whether Mareu would find any particular woman attractive; and this uncertainty was not a satisfactory state of affairs at all.

"Nakago-sama – since I answered your question, would you mind answering a question for me?"

Nakago looked wary. "What's the question?"

"What is the difference between men and women?" Nakago raised an eyebrow in amused disbelief, and Tomo hurried, embarrassed, to clarify. "Not objectively, I know that of course, but what is the difference as you and Mareu perceive it?"

Nakago judged this a more reasonable question and, unusually, a question both complicated and interesting enough to be worthy of some deep thought.

"Well… as I was just pointing out, women are usually subs and men are usually doms. Men are more often crude, women more often conniving; men are usually hard-hearted, women overly sentimental; men can be taken in by a dazzling appearance, women by a pathetic story; men will blindly follow a dream of loyalty or justice or greed, while women delude themselves with dreams of a perfect home, a perfect life…" Nakago snorted. "Neither gender is worth putting up on a pedestal. All humans are foolish and weak, selfish and eager to lie to themselves and be lied to by others, if the lie is more pleasant that the truth."

Tomo lifted one eyebrow skeptically. "So, by your definition I'm _female_? I don't think I like _that_..."

Nakago paused to take in this idea, then decided it was more amusing than threatening. "Well, isn't that what an okama is? A woman's mind in a man's body? Don't _you_ want to bear Mareu's children?"

Tomo facefaulted. "That is a very _disturbing_ idea, and I'm glad it doesn't apply to me."

"Doesn't it? There's a peasant's definition of love for you – if you love someone you must want to raise a big brood of children with them. That's why they're so fond of the little monsters – they don't see the snot-nosed child, they see a blend of themselves and their lover."

Tomo wrinkled his nose delicately. "I don't dislike children, but I can't imagine ever being as patient or forbearing as my father was with me. Now, Mareu... Mareu might be a good parent, intent as he seems to be on welding we seishi into a family. Hmm..." Tomo looked off into the distance musingly.

"So is Mareu male or female?"

Tomo blinked. "What?"

"If you are female by my definition, what is Mareu?"

Tomo considered. And frowned a little at what he was coming up with, and considered some more. "Mareu... he's both. Almost equally... maybe just a bit more female. But not by much, not what one might expect from growing up as a girl."

Nakago said, "Hmm..." and nothing else.

Tomo eyed him suspiciously. "That doesn't surprise you. You, the Shogun, man among men, renowned for being unsympathetic and not caring about heart-wrenching stories or extenuating circumstances... and you agree that Mareu might well be your reincarnation and _that doesn't surprise you_." he accused.

Nakago stood abruptly, slamming his palms down on the table hard enough to make Tomo flinch. "I've had enough of this foolish conversation." he said, all his habitual ice back in his voice. "I have important matters that I must oversee, even if _you_ don't." And he turned and stalked out of the room, leaving Tomo frozen defensively in his wake, like a rabbit trying not to attract a cat's attention.

After a moment Tomo made himself relax, and grumbled to himself, "It would be a lot easier to deal with him if I had some idea what would set him off like that. What's so insulting about being balanced between male and female? _I_ should be the one who's insulted, if he thinks I'm so very feminine that I ache to 'bear Mareu's children'... urgh, I don't even want to _think_ about that." Tomo stuck his tongue out at thin air, then rose with his customary grace and strode off to see about his own business.

* * *

And so, I spent the day traveling with the Suzakus: being avoided by Nuriko, regarded suspiciously by Tasuki and to some extent by Tamahome, treated distantly by Hotohori and Mitsukake, and trying myself to avoid the annoyingly energetic Miaka. It was a relief that evening to stop at the next inn, and it was even more of a relief when, after eating supper, Miaka and Tamahome retired upstairs, probably to stare at each other and go "Miaka!" "Tamahome!" "Miaka!" "Tamahome!" "Miaka!" "Tamahome!"... ugh. Gag me with a spoon. They were sickeningly sweet; I couldn't fathom how anyone could ever be that in love with someone else. Hmm, maybe that kind of love only worked for people who didn't have much else going on inside their heads... 

Looking for something to do until I was tired enough to go to sleep, I noticed Tasuki and Nuriko at the inn's bar and went over to see what they were up to. Nuriko was just giving the last of a string of instructions to the bartender, who turned around and began mixing a drink.

"Ye gods, it's purple!" I exclaimed.

Tasuki suddenly developed an evil smirk. "Why, Mareu! Drink with us! Nuriko, I bet Mareu would _love_ to try one of your Nuriko Specials!" I was instantly suspicious – when Tasuki manages to speak multiple sentences without one word of profanity, you know he's up to something.

I turned to Nuriko, to see what he thought I should do. He seemed uncertain for a moment, then his look changed to one of challenge. "My Specials are pretty strong, if you're not much of a drinker you may want to stick to something more mild."

The barkeeper set Tasuki and Nuriko's glasses of deceptively pleasant-looking violet liquor on the bar, and I inspected them suspiciously, then looked around for something to help me make my decision. As luck would have it, at that moment Hotohori was just coming downstairs. "Hotohori!" My call stopped him, and he turned, looking puzzled, to see what I wanted.

"Yes, what is it Mareu?"

"Nuriko and Tasuki want me to drink one of these Nuriko specials and I wanted an unbiased opinion; how deadly are they?"

"Actually I do not know, I've never had one."

"What, never? Oh, well then by all means join us! The more the merrier, right Tasuki? I'll drink one of these things if Hotohori does."

Tasuki looked delighted with the opportunity I had handed him. "Sure, that's a great idea! C'mon Hotohori, pull up a stool!"

Hotohori looked entirely distrustful of this idea. "Ah, I think perhaps it would be a better idea if I just…" he started edging away.

"Aw c'mon!" wheedled Tasuki, slapping Hotohori across the back (which had the convenient side effect of pushing him closer to the bar). "Don't be such a wuss, one glass isn't gonna kill ya."

"Tasuki!" reprimanded Nuriko. "If Hotohori-sama doesn't think he should drink it then he doesn't have to."

"Yeah," I added feeling delightfully evil, "I agree with Nuriko, if Hotohori doesn't think he can handle it we shouldn't force him."

"Hey!" squeaked Nuriko. "I didn't mean I thought he couldn't handle it! I just, ah…" he trailed off under the force of Hotohori's glare. Silently and stiffly the emperor pulled up a stool and seated himself upon it, and we were all sitting in a row at the bar, first Nuriko, then Hotohori, then me, then Tasuki.

"Anything Nuriko can handle, I can surely handle." Hotohori announced huffily. Hmm. Must be some testosterone under that polished exterior after all. If Hotohori thought of Nuriko as a sort of measuring-stick, the one person he was definitely more masculine than, that would help explain why he was so non-reactive to Nuriko's interest in him. Hmm…

Meanwhile Tasuki was congratulating Hotohori on his bravery and had ordered two more Specials from the bartender. "That's the spirit Hotohori! Tonight we'll make you a real man!"

I drawled, "A real man, huh? You know, I could have sworn that involved rather different fluids than alcohol…" I snickered when my efforts were rewarded with three bright blushes.

"Mareu no hentai!" complained Nuriko.

"Aww, that was the mildest way I could possibly have phrased that! Jeeze, by the way you three blush anybody would think you guys were all virgins." When nobody shouted out to contradict me I looked more closely at the three of them and noticed that they were now all blushing twice as brightly. "Oh. You guys _are_ all virgins. Aww, you poor things… you're missing out on so _much_!"

At this point the drinks arrived, and Nuriko seized the opportunity to change the subject. "Okay, here we are, one Nuriko special for everybody. Take a little sip first and whatever you do, don't try to breathe while you're drinking it, we don't want anyone to choke now."

"Yeah, whatever." Tasuki threw back his glass in one swallow. He gasped slightly and his eyes watered a bit, but he was grinning and looked unharmed.

"You know I meant them, not you Tasuki." grumbled Nuriko. Then to my astonishment he did the same, throwing back his whole glass and then setting it down, looking completely unruffled. Either these drinks weren't really so bad, or these two had had a lot of practice drinking them. I picked up my glass and sniffed it. I followed Nuriko's advice and took a small sip… my eyes bugged out; the stuff was like purple fire! It was definitely more than 100 proof. Hotohori was watching me, having not yet touched his own glass. _Do I really want to do this? I won't get too tipsy from just one of these, but is there really any reason to subject myself to this lacquer thinner?_ Hmm... actually there was – if I could manage to get Hotohori drunk without getting too drunk myself I could interrogate him, figure out how his mind worked and what his sexuality actually was. That would be worth downing a glass of this stuff.

I swirled the liquid experimentally around in the glass, then shrugged and, holding my breath, tossed it back. My throat and sinuses burned, but I managed not to choke or sputter, and Tasuki applauded. "Awright Mareu! $&ing beautifully done!" I raised an eyebrow at his choice of phrase, but declined to comment in favor of watching Hotohori.

With a resigned look on his face he lifted his glass to his lips and took a small sip. I took a moment to admire the way his feathery chestnut hair slid against his graceful throat. I supposed he _was_ beautiful, if not necessarily _the_ most beautiful guy ever, as he seemed to think. But definitely easy on the eyes, particularly while I could feel the large dose of alcohol starting to hit my bloodstream. Pity that if I even attempted to come on to Hotohori Nuriko would put me through a wall… Also a pity that the young Emperor made the mistake of trying to drink the violet nitroglycerine as if it were wine, ending up coughing and sputtering. I smiled evilly.

Tasuki snickered, but patted Hotohori on the back and congratulated him for taking the plunge. Nuriko went into concerned mode and fluttered anxiously around Hotohori. Really, they would make a beautiful couple. Tempting thought: I should drag them both off to bed and see what I could get to happen. Heh. Completely unlikely to actually occur, but interesting to imagine…

I suddenly noticed that Tasuki was snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Oi, Mareu, wake up! Do ya want another Special or not?"

I blinked and licked my lips while I refocused on reality. "Wow, that stuff hits fast… Um, I want something sweeter. I would offer to make you guys _my_ 'special' mixed drink, but I don't think they have the ingredients here."

"What's in it?" asked Tasuki eagerly. "I always like to try a new drink!"

"Well the main ingredient is sour apple pucker… erm schnapps? brandy? People call it different things, but it has to be made from green apples." I looked inquiringly at the bartender. "Don't have anything like that, do you?"

"Got applejack." he grunted.

I sighed. "No, that won't work. I'll have a glass of it to drink though." The bartender nodded.

"Applejack!" groused Tasuki. "That's $($# sissy stuff."

I arched one eyebrow amusedly at him. "And your point is?"

The bartender set two more specials down in front of Tasuki and he quickly quaffed one before answering me. "Well $&, you don't act much like an okama, I thought maybe I'd be friendly 'n give you the benefit of the doubt."

I couldn't help it – I giggled. "Tasuki, as much of an expert on alcohol as you seem to be, you should know very well that it has nothing to do with sexuality. Well, except for lowering inhibitions, but that's not what you were talking about anyway. And since you seem to care so much about the subject I should probably explain that I'm technically not an 'okama'."

"Yer not? Then why th' &# are you after Nuriko?"

"I didn't say I don't like guys; I like them very much. I just like girls too. Which, I believe, makes me technically not an 'okama', does it not? There are several other slang terms that would describe me, like bi, switch hitter, ac/dc, convertible, 'plays for both teams', etc., so you may as well use an accurate one."

Tasuki just blinked at me, processing this. Hotohori, who now had a glass of wine, blinked at me as well, then asked, "But if you could just like women and be normal, why go after men?"

I scratched my head and tried to fit the reason that was so obvious to me into words that would make sense to Hotohori. "Well… that would be like if I decided music was more orderly than birdsong, so I never listened to birds again. Y'know? Or if I had a whole banquet table full of food but I only let myself eat the dishes with noodles, not the ones with rice. It would be a foolish way to live one's life, ignoring half the pleasures the world has to offer, wouldn't it?"

"I suppose it would." Hotohori sounded surprised and thoughtful, not to mention mellowed by the alcohol.

"Ya know, I don't $& well believe you!"

I blinked at Tasuki. "Uh, what don't you believe?"

"That you would go back to men after sleeping with a woman. I bet you haven't actually slept with any women!"

I was kind of non-plussed by the accusation. "Sure I have." I counted on my fingers. "Eight of them actually."

"_Eight?_" asked Nuriko in disbelief.

"Well yeah, but keep in mind I'm older than you guys and I've had five years to rack up eight women and, um," I counted on my fingers again, "twelve men. Which is only four a year, some being one night stands and some being longer relationships – I don't think that's a lot…" I let my voice trail off because now that I actually counted, it did seem rather like a lot… and here I was proposing to add Tomo and Nuriko to my tally… hell, Hotohori too if I could get him, he was pretty enough to sleep with once, if too vain for me to contemplate a relationship with... somehow that didn't feel... quite right.

"So…" Hotohori hesitated. "So what's the difference?"

"The difference of what?"

"Between, um, being with a woman or with a man." Nuriko gave Hotohori a suspicious sideways look.

"Oh, well, ah… I would say the scent is the biggest difference actually."

"_Scent_?" chorused Hotohori and Nuriko disbelievingly.

"See, all people have two scents, the subtle one that all their skin smells like and the stronger one that is only produced by the skin of the groin. Well of course the person also smells like their shampoo and perfume and whatever they've been doing recently, like smoking or cooking or burning incense, but only those two scents are really important because they're the primary way other than appearance that the animal part of your brain decides whether someone is sexy. So if your brain only likes the way men smell then you only like men, and if your brain only likes the way women smell then you only like women. By the way, this isn't just my theory, I read it in a book about human biology. So anyway, I obviously like both scents. Men are kind of… um… well the subtle part is like cloves and almonds, and the strong part is just musky, I suppose. For women the subtle part is like bread baking, sort of, and the strong part is tangy, almost metallic. And of course both genders taste that way too…"

"Taste? Eww." Tasuki made a face.

I teasingly licked my lips. "Of course taste! It's not sex if your tongue isn't involved somehow! You gotta lick it before you stick it!" Nuriko was blushing and Hotohori was blushing more, looking like he was on the verge of a nosebleed, so I thought I had better switch back to lecture mode.

"So anyway, men and women are most different in scent, and after that shape: rounder curves vs. flatter curves, you know, the obvious differences. And other than that men and women are really about the same – they have pretty much the same sensitive spots, are pleased by the same techniques..."

"Now how can they possibly have the same sensitive spots when they don't have the same &!$ing 'spots' at all!" objected Tasuki.

"Well first of all I didn't mean just what's between their legs. There are plenty of sensitive spots, or 'fucking' spots as Tasuki puts it," I grinned at him and he glared back at me, "elsewhere: the earlobe, the hollow behind the jawbone, the cheeks," I gestured with just a hint of sensuality to each part on myself as I named them, hoping to make an impression on either Hotohori or Nuriko. "lips and tongue, the hollow of the throat, the collarbone, the center of the back, the nipples are sensitive on many men as well as women," their blushes got redder, "the abs, the underside of the hands and feet, the ass cheeks, the backs of the knees and insides of the elbows, the navel, and the inside of the thighs. For every person there are going to be a few of those spots that aren't particularly sensitive and a few that drive the person completely wild, but generally speaking that list of sensitive spots is the same for everybody. Now, as for what's between their legs… um, do you guys want me to continue this lecture? 'Cause I think if I say any more you two are going to get nose bleeds," Nuriko and Hotohori glanced embarrassedly at each other, then quickly away. Hotohori hid behind his wineglass, nervously gulping down half of its contents, and Nuriko studied the wood grain of the bar, tracing it with one slim finger. "and Tasuki's going to lose his dinner."

"Damn straight that's enough! We're sup'posed to be drinkin', not gossipin' like a buncha $& girls!" muttered Tasuki. He actually did look quite green around the gills. My throat was dry from so much talking, so against my better judgment I drank half of my applejack. I made a mental note to drink some water later so I didn't get a hangover.

"Tasuki, what's with you anyway?" demanded Nuriko (possibly annoyed not to get to hear the rest of my lecture). "You don't like girls, you don't like guys…" Hmm. Seems as if Nuriko lost that cute cheerfulness when he drank. Like it was a facade that he couldn't maintain when his brain was clouded with alcohol. Hmm…

"I'm jus' not a hentai like you three!" protested Tasuki.

I cracked up and almost spit my drink out my nose. "But I didn't even _get_ to the hentai part yet! That was the completely _innocent_ part!"

"Innocent," Nuriko deadpanned, "is _not_ the word." Hotohori emphatically nodded his agreement.

I couldn't keep from giggling at them. "Honest, hehehe, that was just stuff every sixteen year old should know; like, ehehehe, times tables or something. Damn, hehehe, I must have, eheheh, ow, drunk enough to get the giggles, hehehehe, ouch, dammit!"

Hotohori blinked at me. "Mareu, are you okay?"

"Fine," I squeaked with inebriated mirth, "it's just these clawmarks hurt when I laugh."

"Clawmarks?" wondered Tasuki.

Now, it is a general principle of seduction that less clothing is better. So as I explained I started undoing the frogs of my Chinese-style shirt. "Silly Tomo, hehe, put them there the night before I left. So I wouldn't forget him, he said." I pulled off my shirt, pulled my hair forward over my shoulder, and showed them the marks on my back. "Said, 'Come back before they heal so I know you belong to me.' Feh. I don't belong to anyone! Even if he is pretty as sin and deliciously wicked…"

Tasuki whistled in amazement. "He did that with his &&$ hands!"

"'S got hella long nails." I shrugged my shirt back on, but let it hang open. "Heh, good thing he doesn't have fangs like you, then I'd look like a vampire bit me, eheheh. I don't even want to think about _where_ the bite marks would be..." Tasuki made an absolutely awful face and I laughed maniacally. Nuriko and Hotohori also laughed, but more uncertainly because they were still concerned about the wounds on my back.

"Mareu?" asked Nuriko with genuine worry, "You're _not_ thinking of going back to him, are you? After he hurt you like that? That's abuse!"

The flat accusation banished my humor for a moment. I enunciated carefully to make sure I got my point across. "No, it was absolutely not abuse. He didn't do it to cause me pain, and if I would have complained he would have apologized profusely and put salve on the wounds and never done anything like that again. But I didn't complain because I appreciated the gesture, even if I can't accept the offer."

"You… appreciated the gesture? Offer?" Hotohori asked, non-plussed. "I'm confused…"

I chuckled, some of my humor returning. "Sorry; submission, dominance, and collaring are too advanced for this class. 'N they actually _are_ hentai by any definition, so I'll spare your poor innocent minds. But the whitewashed version is this: he made me an offer that I was truly honored to receive, but couldn't accept. I would've liked to accept, but I know from experience that I would probably change my mind in a few months, which wouldn't be fair to him; it would be like backing out of an engagement or a liege oath or something, that kind of a betrayal. So, I politely declined, and we're still friends n lovers n stuff, and we'll be happy to see each other when I go back. End of story."

"But… why the hell flirt with me then!" Nuriko sounded genuinely angry, and I hid a wince.

"I said I don't belong to him, or anyone else for that matter. You think I'm not going to take a stab at seducing a beauty like you when the opportunity presents itself? Besides, I would be good for you – I'm a good teacher. And I mean face it, you look like a girl but you _are_ a guy; it practically requires a bisexual person to appreciate both aspects of you, and we aren't exactly in abundant supply. The only other one I've met recently is… well never mind, but you _really_ don't want to meet him. He's into that whips and chains thing." Mentioning Nakago's name would definitely break my cover. From all indications Nakago's tastes and mine were approximately the same physically, if not in terms of personality, and I had no doubts that if Nakago ever saw Nuriko the violet-haired seishi would quickly end up chained somewhere private where no one could hear him scream. Probably Hotohori too for that matter, as much because Nakago would presumably _really_ enjoy dominating an emperor as because of his looks. Although maybe not, because I had no idea what Nakago saw in Tamahome, and Nakago apparently had no idea what I saw in Tomo… Hmm. Why would we be attracted to different types if we're supposedly two copies of the same person? Just because our personalities are different? Puzzling...

Nuriko deliberately looked away from me, clenching his fists and flushed with some mixture of anger and embarrassment. I gave Hotohori a 'pity me!' look, and he glanced anxiously between Nuriko and I, trying to think of something to say to lighten the atmosphere. If he would just hug Nuriko that would go a long way towards fixing things up, but no, that would be beneath his imperial dignity.

I sighed in frustration and leaned my head on my arms. Nuriko being upset was pretty much entirely my fault, he had perfectly good coping mechanisms in place but I had decided to push on them so I could try to fix the hurt underneath. I had caused Nuriko's current pain, so it was my responsibility to fix it. But how? He needed a hug, but if I gave him one would he throw me through a wall? I didn't particularly want to experience that. If I was going to try to hug him, I needed him to be in a pliable mood, and that meant… more alcohol. I quietly flagged down the bartender and ordered tea for myself, and for the other three another round of whatever they were drinking.

I drank my tea and endured the angry silence a while longer.

By this point I was starting to get annoyed. "Oh cheer up Nuriko. Anger doesn't become you; it clashes with your cute and helpful act." Nuriko glared daggers at me. "Hey, I'm serious! Cheer up or I'll… I'll start singing! And trust me, you _don't_ want to be subjected to that."

Nuriko blinked at this non-sequitur threat, but then pronounced superiorly "It couldn't possibly be any worse than Tasuki singing when he's drunk."

"Ohhhh yes it could! I'll sing something eeeecchi!"

"That's nothing new; half the things that come out of your mouth are ecchi!"

"Yah, and half the things that go into it too; just 'cause you expect it doesn't mean you can resist!" I licked my lips as sensually as possible, keeping eye contact with him the whole time, and sure enough, a fiery blush spread over his cheeks.

"You, YOU…! FINE! Do your worst, I dare you!" he huffed.

I let my evilest, most hentai grin flow onto my face, and took great satisfaction in watching Tasuki and Hotohori look frightened. "Why Nurrrrriko," I purred silkily, "I thought you'd _never_ ask." Nuriko swallowed, already having difficulty maintaining his anger against me against the rush of hormones. This was going to be child's play. Now, what the hell song should I sing? The lyrics should be clearly hentai without too much explanation, the song should be something that would arouse Nuriko… and it would help if I actually knew all the words. I put my fingertip to my lips and looked speculatively at Nuriko while I considered. _Taste My Ice Cream_? No, unfortunately I didn't think ice cream had been invented here yet.

Suddenly the perfect song came to me and I smiled a softer smile. I closed my eyes, bowed my head, and took a deep breath. Then I started humming the first few wordless measures of Garbage's _Androgyny_. When it was time for the lyrics to begin I opened my eyes and sang right to Nuriko (although I was also very aware that Hotohori was listening and hopefully paying attention to the lyrics).

When everything is going wrong  
And you can't see the point of going on   
Nothing in life is set in stone  
There's nothing that can't be turned around  
Nobody wants to be alone  
Everybody wants to love someone  
Go to the tree and pick a plum  
Why can't we all just get along

They all looked puzzled, because the song starts out soft and innocent, like a lullaby or a lovesong. Little did they know what was coming next! Such is the beauty of binge and purge rock.

(Boys)   
Boys in the girl's room  
(Girls)  
Girls in the men's room   
You free your mind in your androgyny  
(Boys)  
Boys in the parlor  
(Girls)  
They're getting harder  
I'll free your mind in your androgyny

No sweeter a taste that you can find  
Than fruit hanging ripe upon the vine  
There's never been an oyster so divine  
A river deep that never runs dry

What you need   
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need  
What you need

The birds and the bees they hum along  
Like treasure they twinkle in the sun   
Get on board and have some fun  
Take what you need to turn you on

Behind closed doors or under stars  
It doesn't matter where you are  
Collect the jewels that catch your eyes  
Don't let a soulmate pass you by

Boys in the girl's room  
Girls in the men's room  
You free your mind in your androgyny  
Boys in the parlor  
They're getting harder  
I'll free your mind   
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your mind  
I'll free your

Boys…  
Girls…  
Boys…  
Girls…

I let the last word roll off my tongue, then took a deep breath and relaxed. Nuriko had a rather peculiar expression on his face, so I decided to leave him alone with his thoughts for a moment. I checked to see how the song had affected Hotohori and Tasuki.

Hotohori was gazing into his wine as if he was contemplating some powerful, mysterious mystical artifact, and he wasn't sure whether it would help him or kill him. Tasuki… had his hands over his ears. I glared at him, and he took his hands away and told me bluntly, "Mareu, you should _not_ sing."

"I know that, dammit! It's rilly lame because I _like_ to sing." I hid my genuine hurt behind a melodramatic pout. "But I realize it's kinder to spare everyone the agony, so I usually do. Ya gotta admit though, it makes a good threat, doesn't it?" I giggled, having already bounced back to my previous level good humor. I just _cannot_ stay serious for very long when I'm even a little drunk. This would be frustrating, except I can't stay frustrated either. I snickered quietly to myself.

I turned back to Hotohori and Nuriko. "So, my voice aside, what didja think of the song? I know it wasn't really _that_ hentai, but I like its philosophy, and it's a pretty song… at least, it is when somebody _else_ sings it." I grimaced comically.

There was a long silence with no one being willing to venture an opinion, then Nuriko decided to take the plunge. "… I can't _believe_ that's a real song. I mean who would make up something like…?" He shook his head.

I shrugged. "There's all kinda weird songs where I come from." Suddenly I felt rather sleepy, and propped my chin on my hand to let my neck rest.

Hotohori decided to venture a question. "What exactly did you mean, you like the song's philosophy?"

"Oh, y'know, how it says if you meet someone you like you should say so, and not worry so much about what's normal 'n expected, 'n not get upset if things don't work out because there's always somebody else.

"But anyway, did you understand all the references? Like when it says 'never been an oyster so divine' an oyster's supposed to be an aphrodisiac so the implication is that the person is a better aphrodisiac than any oyster. And the 'go to the tree and pick a plum' part… I'm not quite sure about that. The usual metaphor is a peach, you know because they're pink and fuzzy like skin. There's a classic love poem that goes 'Do I dare to eat a peach?' Or sometimes people use a fig because they really look rather, um, genital… But, maybe they had to use whatever rhymed. I dunno… The 'birds and the bees' part refers to the universality and naturalness of love; 's an allusion to another, much older song that goes 'birds do it, bees do it, even the flowers and the trees do it'. I'm not sure about the 'river deep that never runs dry' either; it _might_ be a reference to the myth of the Fisher King which is about fertility, but it could also just be a simple metaphor for the person the song is directed toward, like fruit and oyster are in the same stanza." I scratched my head. "Uh… Is there anything else I should explain?"

They were all looking cluelessly at me, and it occurred to me that explaining poetry to drunk people who didn't have the right cultural background was inevitably a losing proposition. "Oh never mind."

Tasuki grunted. "Yeah, no $& poetry while we're drinkin'."

I shook my head mournfully. "Tasuki, you're completely hopeless, you know that?"

"Nah, he hasn't managed to get that fact through his thick skull yet, but the rest of us know he's hopeless." drawled Nuriko. "We just keep him around for entertainment value." I smiled to see Nuriko in a better mood.

"Oi! Look who's talkin'! You're more &$$ hopeless n' I am! Y'll never catch _me_ wearin' pink!"

I looked at Tasuki in alarm. "Well I should certainly hope not! Do you know how _badly_ it would clash with your hair!"

A snort-like laugh slipped from Nuriko and he hid his mouth behind his hand. I grinned – that was the first time I had ever seen Nuriko laugh a real laugh, not a cute-but-contrived feminine giggle.

I caught Hotohori glancing back and forth between me and Nuriko, as if trying to figure out how our argument had evaporated leaving us once more flirting over his head. It really must have felt odd sitting there in the crossfire. Well, good – maybe it would do Hotohori good to not be the center of attention for a while. Unfortunately Nuriko then remembered that we were supposed to be fighting, and asked me challengingly, "So just who _is_ this 'Tomo'?"

My grin melted into a wry grimace, and I dropped my forehead into my hand, thinking, _Oh, this does not bode well at all, I should never have mentioned him..._ But then I suddenly realized that I had never told anyone what I thought about Tomo; normally the first thing I do when I get a new crush is babble besottedly to my friends, but none of them were here in Ancient China Fantasyland… I raised my head again and studied Nuriko for a moment. He would probably make a good audience, and it wasn't like I was getting anywhere trying to seduce him anyway…

"You really want to know?" I let my surprise show in my voice, signaling that I was going to ignore the challenge aspect and take the question at face value, as an offer to gossip.

Nuriko blinked, and said a bit more tentatively, "Sure, I want to know who would dare claw a 6' 4" swordsman with shoulders twice as broad as mine." He leaned towards me, propping his chin on his wrist in an exaggerated 'Tell me everything dearie!' pose.

I grimaced comically. "Pfft, that sword's for show, I've only had a few weeks of lessons on how to use it. I'd probably have more success trying to paint with it than poke someone." Noting Nuriko's look of bafflement I clarified, "I'm an artist. Not a swordsman but a painter, a sculptor, a storyteller. And don't let the height fool you, I have the temperament of a kitten."

Nuriko, although interested in these revelations about me, stayed in his role. "Mareu," he shook a finger at me, "you are avoiding the question."

"Oh right, you wanted to know about Tomo." Hmm, what could I say without giving away that I was talking about a Seiryuu seishi? "Well… he's an actor. You know, in the opera; that's why he has the long fingernails." What did I really want to say about him anyway? I mean, I could go on and on about his milk-white skin and moonlight hair, but that wasn't at the heart of why I liked him so much…

Nuriko verbally prodded me out of my reverie. "You said, 'pretty as sin, and deliciously wicked', I believe?" he inquired archly. Hotohori was watching Nuriko warily out of the corner of his eye, probably wondering where this subtly aggressive creature had come from and what it had done with the real Nuriko.

A grin tugged at the corner of my mouth, though I tried to hide it. "Ah yes, that does describe Tomo. He's very beautiful – he could probably pass as a woman too, although I don't think he'd have any interest in doing so." I filed that fascinating concept away for later contemplation. "But I think… I think my favorite thing about him is his sarcasm. He's kind of like an alley cat, actually – cynical and a bit scarred from a rough life, defensively ready to bite you, but you could tame him if you were clever and patient enough. I can't resist trying." A wistful smile seemed to have snuck onto my features while I wasn't paying attention.

Nuriko snorted. "You claim to be a storyteller and the best metaphor you can come up with is an alley cat? Somehow I doubt he'd find that very flattering."

"Well what do you want me to say? He has skin like fresh milk, eyes of molten gold, hair like a skein of silk thread spun from moonlight?" Nuriko's eyes widened at the sudden cascade of poetry. "It's true. Should I quote the proverb that the beauty of the rose is the sum of its petals and its thorns? That fits him as well." My mouth twisted in amusement as I though of a way to make them all blush again. "Shall I say I have seen him arch as lithely as a cat, and lap at my cream as daintily as any pampered siamese?" Sure enough, it took Nuriko and Hotohori a moment to figure out what I meant by 'my cream', but then they both blushed violently. Luckily for Tasuki he had plugged his ears after the word 'milk'. "That describes him as well. It's all a matter of perspective and audience. The alley cat metaphor may not be as 'pretty' as the others, but I chose it because I thought it was more evocative of exactly how I think of him. Which is what you wanted to know, after all. Right?

"Although, on the other hand I can see why you don't see the appeal of a jaded alley cat. You would rather have a vain and pampered Persian to baby. Or perhaps be the audience of one for a work of art, yes? The only person who appreciated the depths of its meaning and not just its flashy surface? The caretaker at an art gallery who lovingly keeps each piece dusted, polished, and living up to its full potential?" I asked in an amused tone of voice, glancing at Hotohori for a moment to make my meaning clear before letting my gaze slide back toward Nuriko and giving him a knowing look.

Nuriko blinked at me, startled at the accuracy of my statement, then his expression slid into a small, sad smile. "Oh, perhaps." he said casually. I blinked. Alcohol really did bring out a different facet of his personality. I liked this Nuriko better, actually.

Which reminded me that my goal here was to take advantage of the alcohol in Hotohori's system to find out how his mind worked. So, I turned to Hotohori. "And what about you? What sort of lover do you see yourself as?"

"Errrm..." He flicked a nervous glance at Nuriko, clearly not wanting to say anything that would encourage the delicate man. If I wanted to get anything out of him in Nuriko's presence I would have to push harder.

"Miaka told me that you liked her..." I drawled, and Hotohori flushed scarlet with anger and embarrassment. "I really can't fathom why, but then she's not my type at all, too childlike... but hmm, let's see, why might that appeal to you..."

Unexpectedly Nuriko growled, "It's because she's the _Miko_." Wow, just a little hostility there! Hmm, the priestess... with my slightly sodden brain I tried to puzzle out what that might mean.

"What is a Miko, 'zactly? They're just schoolgirls from another world, right? Aren't they the only ones who _don't_ have any cool powers? Whasso special about them?"

Nuriko grumbled, "That's what _I_'d like to know." and cast an annoyed look at Hotohori.

Never one to let an opportunity to flirt pass me by (even if I had just finished telling him about Tomo), I flashed Nuriko my patented sexy grin and drawled, "Well, I dunno about Mikos, but I'd be happy to show you what's so special about _me_..."

"Mareu..." sighed Nuriko tiredly.

I sighed too, recognizing a hopeless cause. "Wakata. Nuriko, if you're really utterly uninterested in me, all you have to do is say so and I'll leave you alone. I'm not one to stick my nose... or other anatomy... in where it's not wanted."

"Ano..." Nuriko couldn't help but glance at Hotohori, who just looked down into his wineglass. I could see the little flash of pain in Nuriko's eyes... but he gathered himself up, turned back to me, and said firmly, "I am sorry, but my heart lies elsewhere."

Hotohori stood up and, not meeting anyone's eyes, muttered, "I'm going to bed." He turned to walk away from the bar.

"Coward." Lubricated by alcohol, the word slipped out between my lips before I could stop it.

Hotohori spun back, a look of royal fury on his face, and I suddenly fount a sword point at my adam's apple. "How _dare_ you!"

My eyes widened as I suddenly realized Hotohori was capable of killing me. I swallowed nervously and considered apologizing, but then I realized I could fight back now... and I was really angry at him for threatening me with physical violence like some schoolyard bully. King or not, he had no right to act so goddamn superior! So I narrowed my eyes, concentrated on being ready to disappear the sword out of his hand if he actually tried to stab me with it, and growled, "What, you want to add 'bully' to your list of character flaws? You going to run me through just for saying you're not perfect?"

"Mareu!" squeaked Nuriko, while Hotohori went gray with shock, took a step back, and uncertainly let his sword waver away from me.

I realized that this all probably seemed uncivilized and unprovoked from Nuriko's perspective, which made me feel a little guilty. Avoiding Hotohori's eyes, I half-apologized, half-complained to Nuriko, "I'm sorry, but I hate it when people avoid their problems. It just ends up hurting everyone. If he's not interested in you he should say so, and if he is interested he should goddamn get some courage and do something about it! It's his responsibility as a human being not to let you waste years of your life hoping and hurting each time your hope isn't realized. But forget it. I'm a little too drunk to be tactful, and it's none of my business, I'm just a stranger who's only been here a few days; I should shut my mouth and go sleep it off."

Now I was calm enough to meet Hotohori's eyes again. "Sumimasen. I don't know what your life is like, I shouldn't judge you." I bowed slightly to him. Then I turned and strode up the stairs to hide in my room, alone and wishing for Tomo to distract me and cheer me up.

* * *

"Ah..." Hotohori stammered, still in shock, searching Nuriko and Tasuki's faces wondering if they thought he was a coward and a bully too. He realized he still had his sword out, and slammed it embarrassedly back into its sheath. "I- goodnight." he hung his head and spun on his heel, hair swinging around him like a cloak as he too strode up the stairs looking for a place to hide. 

"Heika..." whispered Nuriko sadly, watching him go. Then he turned around and slumped onto the bar's counter. "... waste years of my life hoping and hurting..." he murmured into his folded arms. Then he raised his head and announced, "Tasuki, I need to get very drunk."

Tasuki's eyes lit up. "Hey, now yer talkin'! Barkeep, as many bottles of sake as ya got!" Then Tasuki paused suspiciously. "But _only_ if ya _promise_ there won't be any more sappy talk! I've had &# enough talk about all that kissy stuff, any more an' I'm gonna lose my dinner!"

In a brittle tone of voice Nuriko murmured, "I couldn't agree more. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to _think_ about it, I just want to get _very_ drunk."

"Alright!" Tasuki grabbed the first two bottles of sake as the barkeeper plunked them down on the counter. He sunk a fang into each cork and yanked them out at the same time, then handed one to Nuriko and raised the other in a toast. "Kampai!"

"Kampai." muttered Nuriko unenthusiastically, and poured the bottle down his throat.

Hours later, the barkeeper ran out of sake bottles. Tasuki, mumble-singing happily to himself, crawled up the stairs and crashed on his bed. Nuriko's dignity kept him walking upright, although he was swaying visibly. When he got to the top of the stairs he paused a moment, looking around at all the doors... then wove his way over to Merru's door and knocked on it.

* * *

AN2: the poem that goes "Do I dare to eat a peach?" is T. S. Eliot's The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock. 

AN3: I think I finally figured out how to end this goddamn story. That's the good news – the bad news is I'm less than half way to that ending. Well, you all might think that a lot more chapters are a good thing, but I'm trying to write an original yaoi science fiction/fantasy novel, and I don't really have time for both projects, and writing fanfic in someone else's universe just isn't as interesting as writing an original novel I might be able to publish. So, there are not going to be regular updates of this fic. I only did this one because I had most of the chapter written already and I randomly got an inspiration for how to finish it. But, if anyone wants to be a sounding board for my novel concept, email me or leave a review with your email, and I'll send you the url of the summary document. Mareu's in it! He's not anyone's reincarnation this time, he's a human male who gets stuck in the body of a dragon-like alien and treated like a dog. There's also a Tomo-like character named Lieann, and if you wanted to stretch it a little you could say that Nakago is Ravennin and Soi is Attranath (who is male). Yaoi romance galore. I could really use some supportive fans to bounce ideas off of... waves a cookie enticingly


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